Great poem throughout,
keep up the good work 5/5

Great Work!!
keep on writing them!

This dark poem brings alot of emotion for me
"And you would take heed"
"I never thought you would"
"Stand by to watch me bleed"
great use of words and rhyming couplets!!

throughout the whole poem actually!!

please keep writing more!!

I love this, nice title and good job in this whole poem! I enjoyed reading every stanza and your words were so powerful and filled with feeling. Nice work, please keep it up! Take care!

You have created a beautifully emotional poem here which portrays such honesty. I'm sure many people can relate to this in their own way, due to the topic, the emotions and the honesty you have expressed nicely into this piece. At times your emotions seemed a little bitter, as i'm sure they would in a time like this. Each word you penned held its own expression and I truely adored that within this piece.

The flow was smoothe and effective, it really rolled off my tongue which is great to see. At times it stumbled a little bit but nothing to shatter this amazing poem. I liked the simplicity in the way it was written, simple yet stunning. The heart break mixed with many thoughts really had me thinking.

If Love was universal order
Could it fit inside a heart?
They say love has no border
We must choose to be apart

This stanza was definitly my favorite. You ended this poem with a retorical question which made me think even more. Well done on creating such a lovely piece of poetry which I enjoyed reading.

~Mel

I thought you understood
And you would take heed
I never thought you would
Stand by to watch me bleed
--oh, this part really got to me, so sad
I thought you were unkind
Deep down in my soul
No matter, never mind
About the things you stole
--- fav. part
this poem deserves a 5/5

This poem is very understanable in some parts

But i think it's some parts in this poem i came to think were a little "Awkward"

Like.....
" I was angry and shaken
When you left me alone
I did feel so forsaken
And sadly on my own"

This I felt was very Awkward not the flow or anything just the wording

Like if i could suggest changing it to something like.....

I was angry and shaken, [this comma gives a pause right here]
When you left me alone
I did[take this 'did out] feel[change the "feel to felt" so forsaken
And sadly on my own

I think you should at least write it that way and see of you like it but i just wanted to let you know that [in my opinion]

Other than wording thing the poem was okay

Wouldn't give it a WOW! but's it's not a 1 It's more like a in betweeny! :\

I'm not trying to be mean just to be honest!

So i guess that'll be 3/5 for me

Hmm..there's a jumping of ideas from stanza one to three but still its a nice poem (or it was just my thought who can't catch up with the flow??). the emotions are revealed intensely. good work

The continuity of your idea seems to hop about and your emotions appear to be leading you in this. Not really clear on second stanza's meaning In fifth stanza they are gone and in sixth they are back? This is as always just an opinion. I do think you could take another look at this and smooth it out so it is Very good.

If love was universal order
could it fit inside a heart?
they say love has no border
we must choose to be apart

Good job

This was well done and puts forth a good story without using too many words or taking up too much time. only thing i didnt like was the second stanza because the rhyming abab almost had close enough slant rhyme to seem to be aaaa. but the story was excellent and the ending was brilliant.
4/5