It Isn't Mine To Want

I longed for something I couldn't keep
Pining away, letting my heart and soul weep

I thought I'd never get it
My life's purpose driven
With romance my eyes lit
Ignored what I'd been given

Wallowing in shadow
Knowing I would fade
This need wouldn't let me go
I did not know darkness was made

I got just what I wished for
The one thing that I needed
That wasn't it; I wanted more
My own warning left unheeded

So I led him on
Little did I know
The love within me gone
In its wait, my heart did go

I told the blackest lie I could
Better to soften his heart
If I could take it back I would
I only tore it apart

So now I cry myself to sleep
I got what I never wanted
Forever alone shall I weep
My heart to ever be haunted

Don't wish for something you dont need
You might end up like me
Don't stab just to see him bleed
Don't jump before you see

In my lust, darkness was made
Of blood and shadow a gown
Now I'm doomed to once fade
My black heart will pull me down
I longed for something I couldn't hold
And some stories should never be told