Tragic Taste Of Precious Poison

by LadyWaszky   Jun 13, 2008


Her eyes are like a window,
but all you'll see is rain.
Once in awhile lightning strikes,
and she'll show a hint of pain.

The sun that used to shine so bright:
Behind the clouds has now withdrew.
Now everything is a shade of gray,
because the sun that left was you.

You broke her down to worthless,
by those wretched words you spoke.
You clouded the air with poison,
You caused her little lungs to choke.

The tragic taste of precious poison,
that hindered on your lips,
was stolen from her swollen heart,
and burned unto her fingertips.

Her sullen eyes have grown grayer,
Mimicking her soul within.
No longer praying for sunshine:
To the pain she now gives in.

http://i35.tinypic.com/fvv292.jpg

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by ASPHYXIATED

    This wasn't really my cup of tea-
    at times it seemed a tad cliche and forced
    and then at other times it was perfect.

    Example-
    It opened with a nice metaphor,
    eyes like a window, rain=tears etc.
    But then the 2nd and 3rd stanza brought it down,
    until you hit the 4th stanza and again its nicely done!
    Maybe try revise over and pick out the best bits,
    then rewrite/rephrase the parts which seem to drag the poem down.

    (:

  • 17 years ago

    by Singthesorrow

    I really like this one.

  • 17 years ago

    by Singthesorrow

    I really like this one.

  • 17 years ago

    by Lets Keep it A Surprise

    This is a brilliant poem.

    I loved the first stanza:
    Her eyes are like a window,
    but all you'll see is rain.
    Once in awhile lightning strikes,
    and she'll show a hint of pain.

    the imagery is so vivid, and i can feel the emotions she suppressed, and when she let go.

    8/5.

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