Loneliness Smuthers

....... Suffocated by loneliness,
Chained by responsibility
Time slips away while i lay dormant in this pain waiting....

waiting for freedom,
Waiting for love......
Wondering what would happen if I spill this blood...

All of this hatred, longing, and loneliness inside..
Makes me wanna crawl in bed and hide ....

A bottomless pit is my stomach,
A black hole is my heart.......

Having no interest in anything
Struggling to keep the pieces of me from falling apart Using love for glue ........

But what do i have to love???
friends?
No they drain, me drag me down, drown me with self doubt.......

Family??
That is a complicated situation
I'm always trying to figure out
Instead of enjoying.......,

BUT there is one love intertwined with hate,
An intoxicating poison Ive found within myself....

The release I feel when the blade kisses my wrist's
This is my love goodbye until tomorrow,

Maybe then i won't feel so much sorrow...................