Waisted time behind these herione walls

The time that i have waisted is my biggest regret,
spent in these places i will never forget,
just sitting and thinking about the things that i have done,
the crying the laughing the hurt and the fun,
now its just me and my hard driven guilt,
behind a wall of emptiness i have allowed to be built,
I'm trapped in my body just waiting to run,
back to my youth with my laughter and fun,
but the chase is over and there is no place to hide,
everything is gone,including my pride,
with reality suddenly in my face,
I'm scared and alone and stuck in this place,
new memories of the past flash through my head,
and the pain is obvious by the tears that i shed,
i ask myself why and where i went wrong,
i guess i was weak when i should have been strong,
living for the drugs and the wings i have grown,
my feelings were lost and to afraid to be shown,
as i look at my past it's so easy to see,
the fear that i had, afraid to be me,
i pretend to be rugged so fast and so cool,
when i was actually lost like a blind fool,
i am getting way to old for this tiresome game,
of acting real hard with no sense of shame,
it's time that i change and get on with my life,
fulfilling my dreams for a family and someday become someones wife,
what my future will hold i will never really know,
but the years that are waisted are starting to show.......