How I feel.

I feel nothing special at all.
I don't even feel pain when I fall.
Emotions have set me free.
Or better yet, learned to forget me.

My heart forgot to beat.
My stomach refuses to eat.
My brain doesn't want to care.
My soul has become bare.

Logic can not define it.
No theory seems to fit.
Life is so empty now.
Life is more then my brain can allow.

I've seen it all and now it's best if I'm alone.
I can sit in peace and depend only on my own.
I lost the need to trust.
Every meaning seems to turn to dust.

I care not what happens to others around me.
As long as they leave me be.
I'm not sad nor am I happy at any time.
I don't feel the need to enjoy my prime.

I still enjoy life I guess.
Everything is still a perfect mess.
I'm still doing great by any standard out there.
My life would be considered pretty fair.

Then again, what is life without happiness.
And what is happiness without sadness.
What is an emotion without caring.
What is an adventure without daring.

Nothing more needs to be said.
No more books need to be read.
The story is always the same.
No more people left to blame.

To look inside would be a risk.
Too much hidden in that big disk.
Too much pain locked away.
That's where it needs to stay.

Too many memories that would serve better when lost.
Too many memories that came with too high of a cost.
It's our experience that shape our personality.
It's our heart that moves our reality.

When personality is lost and forgotten.
When the heart has gone rotten.
What's left of our soul to search in.
What's left hiding under our skin.

It's not so much that I'm depressed.
It's not so much that I'm even stressed.
It's just a matter of losing that drive.
That drive that keeps us alive.

I remember glimpses of that feeling before responsibility.
That feeling that was full of spontaneity.
Caring was last on my mind.
Yet caring was so easy to find.

Emotions ran wild and free.
My heart strong as a tree.
Every day was full of hope.
Everything was in my scope.

A dream was only an alternate reality.
Reachable by a different mentality.
A goal was always within reach.
My weaknesses were hard to breach.

Then age slowly takes over this body of mine.
Different options become one straight line.
Paths start to merge.
Slowly, dies the urge.

Today is a carbon copy of days past.
Days start and end extremely fast.
A memory becomes a distant dream.
Nothing left but to stay in the stream.