Jalapeno Puddin

Jalapeño Puddin

I ate jalapenos with my corn bread
just the other day.
I drank two cups of prune juice.
What more can I say?

Those peppers lay in my belly
in a fiery clump.
I was in fear of what would happen
when I took a dump.

The prunes made my tummy rumble
I had to let a fart.
The explosion from my rectum �
blew my pants apart.

As I sat upon the stool
one turd I did omit.
It felt like charcoal bricketts
from my bar barbeque pit.

Hot steam arose around me
as on the throne I sat.
It was the first time that ever happened,
when I took a crap.

I couldn�t wipe with tissue
It kept going up in flames.
I grabbed a fire extinguisher
and took a careful aim.

I pulled the pin and squeezed the trigger
to put out the fiery blaze.
There I was with a sooty butt
in a smoke brown haze.

Fire damage was extensive
as the insurance company I called.
They said for such an incident
I wasn�t covered at all.

The company made a statement.
when firey crap you�re pushin.
�Never expect help from us.
Just get a whoopee cushion.�