Unconquered Thoughts

by Alone in the crowd   Jul 15, 2008


Maybe i didn't forgive him for what he's done
maybe i did believe he was the one
What difference would it make if i did tell him how i feel
all he did before was tell me OK
Didn't even tell me that he was sorry
Maybe i didn't forgive him for what he did
Calling me childish and uncool
Now i really am thinking i am a fool
Is the right choice i made really the one
When i haven't even forgiven him for what he's done
i told him half of the damage that he did
Dropped me on the drop of a dime
Then came back in the knick of time
Just when i thought i was over him
He shows up and proves me wrong he's still here
I spent two weeks feeling down, lower than low
But i was holding on when all i wanted to do was let go
i tell him how i felt when he played on one of my biggest fears
i even fought through the tears
Didn't say sorry not even in the least bit
And though i deserved one i didn't throw a fit
He's supposed to be worth it in the end
Now I'm not so sure
I'm about to lose everything that i fought for

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Yazdan

    Nice poem but having the rhyming go on and off kinda threw off the rhythm i found. Also you had some really awquard wording like
    "Now i really am thinking i am a fool
    Is the right choice i made really the one"
    I find myself doing it a lot too but trying to re-arrange words to make it flow better makes it awquard to read. Plus sometimes it just gets difficult to understand lol. I personaly found that the poem more had the air of a narative as opposed to a poem. Try using some more eloquent and poetic language in your poems. Writting in pros can be effective up to a certain point but pushing your comfort zone with your vocabulary will yeild some great results. The poem was good i liked it, you definitly have the talent to be a great poet. Good job!

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