Not Ever

Not ever will I hear 'I love you'
Not even from my family
Not ever will they care
Not ever will they see.

Not ever will they be proud
I'm just a big mistake.
Everything I do is wrong.
How much more is there to take?

I'm sorry I'm not perfect
I might as well disappear
For I'm nothing but a joke.
I'll just get out of here.

Not ever will you be happy.
I'll never make you proud.
No matter how hard I try
I'll always just be in the crowd.

I'm sorry for everything
I know what I did was wrong.
If only I could go back,
to make our relationships strong.

It's hard to deal with everything.
I know what I did was dumb.
But before everything that's happened.
My heart was broken and numb.

Not ever will you love me
I know it's just a lie.
I know you think I'm crazy.
But I know you'll never try.

I know I lost your trust.
But you also just lost mine.
For what you did was just as wrong.
You're words are nothing but lines.

Not ever will I forgive
Nor will I ever just forgive
I'm just done with everything
Even the life that I live.