An Unforgivable Sin

In his front yard crying
wondering if he's the one who caused it
he feels like such a burden
as his life i wish i could have paused it
baptized in blood
a well kept secret hidden in the closet as he locked it
found a gun on the ground
put it to his head and cocked it
demons inside screaming for him to die
causing it a struggle to survive
the day that she would arrive
would be the day of his demise
choices to make
pull the trigger or lay it down
every step he takes is one more closer to the ground
as his memory plays tricks
his heart skips a beat
would she remember what he told her
for the next time they would meet
his visions and delusions
nightmares of his final rest
his mind producing pollutions
painting portraits of his vital death
an unforgivable sin
toward someone he once knew
someone he considered a friend
someone he could turn to
but time has changed
with guilt on the rise
from mistakes that were made
would he be the one she'd despise
he then aims the gun toward the sky
and lets off one round
then unfolds his final letter
and lays it beside him on the ground
between lies and broken promises
she may never return faithfully within
so he places the gun back to his head
and the pistol fires again