Failed Pretending

A cracking voice, a broken smile,
Trying hard to be versatile.
Crying hard at night, smiling bright at dawn,
Just so everyone else wont know whats really going on

Its hard to stay strong, when you just want to fall
Hard to keep walking, when you just want to crawl.
Youll say they wont bring you down, youll seem undeterred,
But youll pray so hard that night, just wanting to be heard.

If someone would just see through it, every single lie,
If someone could just help you, hear you when you cry.
Nobody seems to notice, or maybe they just dont care
Because it isnt hard to see what is really there.

So many people surround you, but you havent found the one
Who tells you theyll always be there, when all is said and done
Sure people have said it, but none of it was true
Nobody has yet to say it and actually follow through.

When the pain is soaring, burning you inside,
They walk away quickly, swearing that they tried
Again youre on your own, more hurt than before
Knowing now your pain, has driven away one more.

So you withdraw, tired of pretending
Tired of all the hands nobody is really lending
Tired of the hope, that was never followed through
When another broke their promise, to truly helping you.

So, youre sorry that they knew, the scars were self inflicted,
Sorry that that was your only relief, and you became addicted.
But could they really blame you, if they understood?
Maybe its not if they can, but rather, if they should?

Do they have a right to judge you, blame you for your pain?
Or maybe its misdirected anger, and really theyre ashamed?
Ashamed they didnt notice, or didnt really care
Ashamed that after all this time, they were blindly unaware?

youre sorry for the scars, deep within your wrist
Sorry that after it all, it will still end like this:
A razor on your wrist, a tear hits the floor
And you whisper to yourself, "I cant do this anymore".
_______________________________________________

© Fallen Angel.

8/8/08