Ramblings of a broken-heart

This is just a vent, a realistic venting of my thoughts and pain from my heart - you can hate it or you can love it ....

Perfect imperfections haunt my memories
Such wondrous flaws I grew to love
Make it so impossible to find hate
Hate which could set me free
How much I anger that I cannot find rage
But only the rage for myself
Can the honest lie to ease the pain?
Such a hideous soul
My soul left empty
Empty in despair with nothing but shadow
A darkness which consumes my heart
Endless unsatisfied thoughts plague my mind
Nights which leak into my light of day
The world is again cold and desperate
The only happiness I've ever found
Is found in one who cannot give
One who now gives to another
Another who deserves what he gives
More than what I, myself deserves
It was easier for him
Easy to move on and forget
Forget all the promises
I guess I just never was that important
He made me feel worth it though
Special enough to engage
Engage in a promise which was meant for a lifetime
A lifetime which is now desolate
A lifetime forgotten, abandoned
Along with all your memories
Memories overtaken by new ones
I'm sure our memories don't haunt you
They haunt me
Around every corner, in the stars, in my bed
The ghost of my memories feel real sometimes
Sometimes I forget whats happened
Those are the times I never want to wake
Wake to the reality which is that I
I am replaced
I understand; I'm unworthy of love
I am boring, not beautiful, not intelligent
I can understand why you ceased
Ceased your love for me
However I can barely see why you started
Why would you have started
I doubt you would have knowing what you know now
That another makes you happier than I had
Only flaws do I find in my mirror
A mirror of unspoken truth
A truth which is that I am pathetic
A sad pitiful soul
I am ashamed that I am left alone
And shall remain alone
My fault, which I must own
The hardest thing I find
Is to find a way to live
A life without he
A life gone where I was happy
A happiness which is forever lost to me
Because his love is gone
No more given. No more returned.
I regret which I cannot repair
Is that I took that love for granted
And this, this is what I have earned
A broken heart
Endless tears
A lonely life
That I'm terrified of...
And although with so much hurt
Hurt that forever tears apart my heart
I find a way
A way to carry on
For all those who still care
Who can find a way to love me
I must carry on
Because my time will come
When delivered and not when I choose
God has a plan
I pray that he is merciful and
And that my time will come soon
And that he will take care of everyone
Everyone who remembers me

All of this, all of this is but a small fraction
An insignificant rambling of what runs through my mind
Do you see
Why i cry
Why I scar
Why I cant sleep
I am damaged
Beyond repair? that I'm not sure of
But I pity the person who tries to fix
Tries to fix all these wounds
Both visible and not alike.