Just Me

Another one of the things that aren't really poems. Just my feelings

I'm sick of feeling like this
Feeling like I'm put in last place.
I hate when you call me names.
I hate when you wont say you love me.
I hate when you gripe at me.
I hate when you put me down.
It hurts when you say the things you say,
Or when you talk to me the way you do.
All I ever try to do is make you happy.
All I want is for you to be happy with me.
Why am I never good enough?
Why are you with me if all you ever want to do is insult me?
I deserve better.
I don't deserve to be treated like this.
I'm hurting.
My heart is breaking.
I want to feel loved.
I want you to make me feel that way.
I want to be your baby.
I don't want to cry.
I don't want to feel unwanted.
I'm not just wanting attention.
Ok, maybe I do.
But the only one I want attention from is you.
I want YOU.
Thats all.
I want you to love me.
I want you to be happy with me.
I want you to just be happy.
I want you to say nice things to me.
I want you to call me beautiful.
I don't feel like I am.
I feel worthless.
I feel like the worst person in the world.
I feel like I'm breaking.
You say I'm being dramatic.
No.
No I'm not.
I'm being realistic.
I'm saying how I really feel.
I don't mean it when I say mean things to you.
But sometimes when you are mean to me they just come out.
I regret saying things that are mean to you.
And normally I say I have no regrets.
This may not seem like a big deal to you.
But guess what?
It is to me.
This is my life.
This is how you make me feel.
I want to trade places with you so you can see how you make me feel.
I want you to think about how you make me feel.
I don't want you to hurt me.
I'm sick of crying.
I'm sick of feeling hurt.
I would do anything on this earth for you.
I really would.
I really try too.
I do.
But sometimes I can't.
I want to mean everything to you.
Like you do to me.
I don't want you to ignore me.
I don't want you to put me last.
I want to be the one you care about more than anything.
I want to mean the world to you.
You mean the world to me.
You really do.
Maybe what you say is true.
Maybe I'm clingy.
Maybe I'm obsessive.
Maybe I'm jealous.
Maybe I'm annoying.
Maybe I want attention.
Maybe I talk to other people when you hurt me.
Maybe I don't like alot of other people.
Maybe.
Just maybe.
But guess what?
Everything, good and bad,
Its what makes me who I am.
I've been like that forever.
Before I knew you.
Before we started dating.
I'm not perfect.
I try to be.
But I'm just not.
True love is not finding the perfect person.
Its finding someone who isn't perfect, and seeing them as if they are.
Yes that is cheesy.
No I didn't make that up.
But I like it.
Its true.
I see you as perfect.
I love everything about you.
I want to be with you forever.
Because when you say you love me,
I know you mean it.
I know you wouldn't lie about something that important.
But you need to show it.
You can't keep treating me like this.
It really gets to me.
It really hurts me.
It makes me cry.
Remember when we first started dating?
You were the sweetest guy I ever met.
You wanted to be with me.
You randomly texted me to tell me how much you loved me.
My favorite was when you texted me and said I was beautiful and called me babe.
It made me feel amazing.
It made me feel loved.
But you never do that anymore.
You only text me if I text you first.
And you only say mean things to me.
Don't gripe at me for crying.
Please don't.
I'm a girl.
I cry when I get upset or hurt.
I just do.
Thats another thing that makes me who I am.
I'm just me.
Just like I can't change you.
You can't change me either.
To a certain extent.
You've already changed me a bit.
Not that it's a bad thing.
I want to be something you want me to be.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want to be with me.
I just want you.
I love you so much.
I don't think there are words to describe my feelings for you.
I hate to fight with you.
I really do.
It really hurts to fight with you.
I don't try to make you mad.
I promise.
I really don't.
We both have our off days.
We do fight alot.
I hate it.
But it makes me feel like we belong together.
We always get over it.
Thats good.
I'm sorry I get on your nerves.
I really am.
I don't try to.
I just love being around you.
You make me happy.
You make me feel like I'm wanted.
You make me feel like I have a reason.
If I were to try to list everything that you make me feel,
I couldn't do it.
There is no way.
There are too many things.
You are amazing.
I just wish you would be nicer sometimes.
I love you.
Just remember that.