Comments : His Palm Became My Dictionary

  • 15 years ago

    by Once an Angel

    This one was a great play on words. It must have taken careful planning to create this poem and you pulled it off well. It was just the right length to be an extended metaphor, without killing the idea by dragging it on too long. I loved how you used your form to emphasis the last to lines, but isolating them from the rest of the poem. It helped them stand out, and created a great finish to the poem.

  • 15 years ago

    by Becca

    I loved this poem. Great word choices and I think you made the right choice with the line-breaks to keep the poem flowing and on point.

  • 15 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Congratulations on the win, really well deserved.
    I've read this poem when you posted it and it truly impressed me, but I only had time for "Amazing job" one-liner so I figured it's better not to comment at all.
    I'll be detailed now :)

    - His palm became my dictionary
    emended by pastel lines
    held together by comparison
    contrasted by conclusion.-
    ^^^
    Fantastic beginning. The first line is so creative, it caught my attention and I really wanted to read more. I love the rest of the stanza, too, it's powerful and it represents great introduction for the rest of the piece.

    - He once asked me to differentiate
    love; though chalk petals touched
    my tongue. Never considering index
    I defined lust. -
    ^^^^
    My favorite part of the poem. This stanza took my breath away. It's brilliant, amazingly worded, and the whole metaphor left me in awe. I love how the last line's shorter than the rest, it created interesting rhythm. I can relate to this stanza, too, which made it even more effective for me.

    - I spell-checked my words studiously,
    curious to why he had turned away.
    Only to realize fraud becomes obsession
    when you lie yourself to sleep.-
    ^^^^
    Superb continuation of the previous stanza. I especially like the first line, the metaphor within is truly original. Greatly written.

    - I was once asked to define love:
    but realized it was too late. -
    ^^^^
    At first I thought that the poem ending's to sudden, because I really wanted it to be longer, but when I re-read it, I realized it ends perfectly. You managed to put so many emotions in these two lines which is amazing.

    Overall, I love this piece, it's already stored in my favorites.
    Keep up :)

  • 15 years ago

    by Tammie

    As always Mel, an amazing poem. The descriptions in this most of all blew me away. The vocab is just so widespread. And it is an extremely unique peice. I love it.

    I have kept up the reading of your pieces, I just haven't got around to commenting them lately.

    Well done on getting on the front page, you definatly deserve it. Your writing has developed so much, you're a very talented writer. Keep it up (:

    Tammie xo

  • 15 years ago

    by Lu

    Congrats on your win, very deserving of the front pages!

    I loved the twist of words and the uniqueness of this piece.
    I love those poems that challenge the mind and make you want to read them over and over again .... as this one has done to me.
    It is poetry such as this that is remembered by the reader for a long, long time.

    He once asked me to differentiate
    love; though chalk petals touched
    my tongue. Never considering index
    I defined lust.
    ^^^
    My favorite part !

    Excellent read
    Luanne

  • 15 years ago

    by Romancing the Darker Side

    I find this poem to be simply stunning. It was an excellent, delicate and careful play on words.

    I spell-checked my words studiously,
    curious to why he had turned away.
    Only to realize fraud becomes obsession
    when you lie yourself to sleep.

    My favorite stanza. How we all try to make ourselves perfect in an effort to draw in the ones we love... This stanza is so ironic too, because usually the people we're after prefer our true selves to our fake selves.

    I also loved how you seperated the last two lines. I like to stop and think in between stanzas, so the break provided room for that. Excellent poem.

  • 15 years ago

    by Blissful

    First of all congrats on the win! I was waiting until Monday to nominated it because I had nominated 3 poems already last week and then I saw you won and I was so happy! Wooot!! :] Well desereved.

    This was quite a unique piece...it just left me breathless! This has to be one of the best I have read in a while and Ive been reading a lot of poems lately. I loved the metaphorical speech because it truly provokes thought and made me want to know what you truly were feeling when you wrote this. I'm not going to ramble on but I am going to say, this has to be one of the best you've written and that says a lot because everything you write is a masterpiece.

    "He once asked me to differentiate
    love; though chalk petals touched
    my tongue. Never considering index
    I defined lust. "
    ^love Loved LOVED this stanza. :] It just spoke to me, hmm yeah that sounded corny but it did! Each word was used flawlessly to get across your meaning.

    I was so happy to see you won! :]
    Well done.
    *5/5*

  • 15 years ago

    by Nobodys Hero

    A very imaginative and well written piece.
    The flow was enjoyable to follow and your choice of wording was excellent. =]
    I also thought it was very different to most things iv'e seen on here before therefore it was brilliant to see a different unique type of poem ^^

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Title - I can't tell you how unique this title really is. It really captures my attention from the start, and CONGRATS on winning! I look forward to reading such a oustanding write. :]

    "emended by pastel lines
    held together by comparison
    contrasted by conclusion."
    `Wow. Amazing! The word choice is fabulous. I'm speechless!

    Format/Structure - yet again, very original. It helps with the flow a great deal. Well done.

    "I spell-checked my words studiously,"
    `Omg, this write is so original! I'm so impressed. Overall, woow, I'm just speechless.. literally. I loved the originality in this piece, its so unique.. I don't know how you could have came up with such an idea.. :] I loved the spell-check thing.. that just blew me away.

    "I was once asked to define love:
    but realized it was too late."
    `Aww :\ This is a very sad ending, but well done.. you really make the reader feel your sadness. Well done darling. :] 5/5 yet again!!

  • 15 years ago

    by Corinne

    Now this is a poem worthy to grace the front page of this site. It's an amazing piece, and one can dissect it and note all the poetic devices, but this goes way beyond that expresses what is behind the words.

  • 15 years ago

    by ether

    Amazing. I love the end. A very well deserved win right here.

    Keep it up :)

  • 15 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    You've written another beautiful piece. Your choice of words is stunning.

    "His palm became my dictionary
    emended by pastel lines
    held together by comparison
    contrasted by conclusion."

    ~ The last line in this stanza absolutely wow'd [wowed? I don't know, lol] me. You have a way with words, which I have yet to see in any piece of poetry I've read on this site, and I mean that.

    "He once asked me to differentiate
    love; though chalk petals touched
    my tongue. Never considering index
    I defined lust."

    ~ "..though chalk petals touched my tongue" -- Oh, my. That is so emotional, and as weird as this may sound, it gives a beautiful image.

    "I spell-checked my words studiously,
    curious to why he had turned away.
    Only to realize fraud becomes obsession
    when you lie yourself to sleep."

    ~ Once again, a beautiful portion of the poem. My only suggestion is in the second line, maybe add the word "as" after "curious" -- "curious AS to why.." Just a suggestion, and it's still wonderful without it.

    "I was once asked to define love:
    but realized it was too late."

    ~ I loved these two lines. I feel as though while the rest of the piece was calm, these added a dramatic effect. It's.. wonderful. :]

    Five out of five. [5/5]

    ``Briana

  • That poem was so beautiful 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    Wow!!! that's beautiful...
    Ya, love is too complicated to define.

  • 15 years ago

    by Baine Willows

    This is without a doubt an exquisite bit of work, and I am very pleased to have had the opportunity to have read it.
    Wonderful job, and congratulations on your win.
    It was well deserved.

  • 15 years ago

    by Ixora

    Beauitful poem...the imagry and symbolism is very powerful. you have great talent.

    .[Bow].

  • 15 years ago

    by Im Me and I Love It

    Ok well no long comment but i just want to day how much i like and i think its AWSOME or AMAZING or AWSMAZING lol well hope to see you win more!!!

  • 15 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Unique style in this piece and definetly a great job on the word play. The flow was good as well as your word choice. It was quite a thought provoking piece. Well worth the read and a well deserved win.

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Very orginal piece that is mind-blowing and definetly deserved to win. Your wording was excellent and took me on a journey. Take care, 5/5 from me, a pleasure to read. Keep writing, always and forever...

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Very orginal piece that blew my mind away. Your word choice was excellent and took me on a journey. A treasure to read upon and certainly worth the win! 5/5 from me, take care and keep writing always and forever..