Sweetie, I'm glad you used this title. I felt as though it fitted you at the moment perfectly, though it is a shame. I've been reading your latest pieces but no time to really comment and I must say that when you are really sad you write so beautifully. This was another one of those magical beauty and the beast pieces which kinda broke my heart for you. I can't keep saying sorry, I wish I could help...

I loved the use of the brackets. If you read them lines all together it sounds like another little poem inside itself.. really quite beautiful your use of words. I loved the contrast. You used so many beautiful words but in a agonizing way. It really was unique.

I really don't know what to say to you barbie, except that I loved this piece to all ends and you wrote it gorgeously through all the pain. Well done.

-Mel

Good flow , rhymes and I love your wording . It's so powerful , as is the picture in my mind of emotions when i'm reading this . Once again , excellent job . 5/5

Last line 1st stanza

"Who'd have known that all my sorrow does for you is entertain"

The wording at the end of this line doesn't seem right to me. Maybe try,

"Who'd have known that all my sorrow is entertaining to you."

Or something along those lines. It says the same thing just in a different way.

3rd line 2nd stanza

"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, debris now all that's left here"

maybe try

"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, debris now are all that's left"

I think that these changes would help with the flow.

Other then that I see nothing that might be changed. I really liked this poem. It is different. Another 5/5

In the third line of the second stanza,
"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, debris now all that's left here"
I think it would help if you put "Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, debris now is all that's left here"
In my opinion that changes makes the line flow better, but that's just me.

Other than that small change, I find nothing else to critique. This poem is absolutely brilliant. The title is one of the most creative I have ever seen, it automatically caught my eye. The way you connect it into the poem is unique and creative. The overall flow is very well done. Your use of immagery greatly enhanses the meaning and emotions you aim to portray in this work of art.

Amazingly well done. 5/5 and a place on my favorite poems list! :) congrats.

Stefanie

Very nice. I must say, you greatly use your diction to your advantage. Not a huge vocabulary, but an awesome way of expressing your thoughts. Great repetition.

Drowning, suffocating, mutely choking left with silent screams
Everything that was once so perfect now twisted, turned so awry
One person who used to leave me euphoric now causing the tears
Didn't you know that without your love, all that's left to do is die?

Especially there. "Drowning, suffocating, mutely choking left with silent screams."

Best part of the poem. Good job.

Wow. That was amazing. I really like your style of putting stuff in the little wiggly parenthesis thingd(what are they called?). That seems to give me a differnet view of the poem. I really loved this one. I'm putting it in my favorites!

Though this is a very sad poem it also reads like a love poem that reaches every depth of the heart, soul and mind and love of every kind

I like the structure of this poem and wound not change a thing

This one was really good! Only a few parts were a little iffy:
"debris now all that's left here" Just the phrasing is a little off...
"{Yet another shard falls to pieces...}" I like this thing you do with the brackets, but the thing that got me here was a shard is something that's already a piece of something broken into pieces. It doesn't really make sense that a shard would be breaking.

Other than those two things, really really good poem. 4.5/5 (which is really 5/5)

That was an absoultely wonderful title i must say, its eye-catching, and it speaks out to the reader so they want to read your poem.

you write so beautifully and so delicatedly which is ironic when it comes to how fragile a rose can be.

i love the way you used your brackets, fantastic skill there- the contrast betwene your launage within them added strongly to the emotion in which the poem was written.

the vocabulary and teh style of the piece were unique the entire way through, and the imagery in which you used was fantastic, you are a very talented writer an di look forward to reading more of your work.

Who'd have known that all my sorrow is entertaining to you." - i feel that that is the strongest line in the poem, its got a hint of hurt and anger as well as sorrow, and it hits hom with the reader very good job xx