Want to be me

I close my eyes and I see her face
I see what once used to be
The memory of a happy place
The girl that used to be me

Then I open my eyes and stare
And the mirror reflects the pain
And even though no one cares
I know things will never be the same

The laughter that I used to hear
Faded long ago into the night
Now nothing is as clear
As the sorrow that brings this fight

It hurts, yet no one wants to see
There isn't anyone that can understand
I just want to be ME
And I need someone to hold my hand

The people around me smile, I lie
And I try to play along
But they are the reason I cry
So why do I pretend to be strong

I just want to look at me
The way I once used to be
I just want the world see
There isn't any strength left in me

I am just trying not to die
I'm trying to push away my fears
I don't want to say my goodbye
But I'm drowning in my tears

I am barely holding on
Someone please throw me a line
I need this pain to be gone
I just want to be... well, fine