I hate you, my strength

I hate you I hate you I hate you.
I Could scream the words a thousand times.
I could write it in the stars above,
And whisper it as I died.

You were only there for me
At times you felt you should.
But I never called for you to come running when I needed help,
Mainly because I knew you never would.

All those years of growing up,
I spent them all in fear.
When I lied alone in bed,
I Cried those secret tears.

I never wanted you to find out that
You were always my biggest fear.
But the time has come to let the world know,
That you're what is keeping my tears.

You can raise your fist and leave me bruises,
They will heal faster than the internal bruise.
My emotions are shooting with the stars,
This time around, I'm not going to lose.

I'll let you beat me to the ground,
But my promise is 'I will always stand.'
I won't follow in my mother's footsteps anymore,
I will not listen to your demanding command.

I hate you I hate you I hate you.
But you are my family...
Just because that is what you are,
It doesn't make you a part of me.

So I'll pack up my bags and tonight I'll leave,
Maybe somewhere down the road, you'll hear from me.
I'll give you time to consider my pain,
And think of a way to tell me you're sorry.