Winter Storm

Wow, wonderful write. The flow and structure was outstanding. I loved your choice of words, simplistic yet made the reader ponder slightly which I tend to enjoy. Again an excellent write, keep up the fantastic work.

Peace, Joe

Very nice, I like your use of imadgry in your poem, I could defenatly get a clear picture of what you ment through out. I also like how your poem takes you through a passage of time and shows the reading what its like to be alone and to struggle. Especally how you have this written through the eyes of a lone wolf.

My favorite lines were:

The snow begins swirling thickly, all around
blinding the wolf as the ice hits
the sore unprotected eyes.
It is almost ready to give up the fight
but finds the strength to put one paw in front of the other

I like how you have said that the wolf is alamost ready to give up against the harsh elements but at the same time still finds the energy to keep going and to move on.

Well Written
Darkcrystalbtrfy

Well, I loved it! I could see it all in front of me...the harsh winter landscape and the lonely wolf trying to survive...
A very good poem, I give you 5/5

Hugs,

Ingrid

Well what can I say, another amazing poem that contains such beautiful imagery and delicate descriptions. Although the wolf is often portrayed as a viscious character (which I believe is wrong), you have turned it into a majestic, empathic creature. On with the poem....:

Through the drifting snow
tread the lonely and cold.
There is nothing for protection
no shelter is to be found.

^^ This is a really good opening stanza, keeping the reader's attention as they carry on through the poem.

Shivers rake the body
of the now numb almost frozen wolf,
finding it hard to keep going
there is no food to be found.

^^ I like the idea of shivers 'raking' the body, but I think there needs to be a bit of punctuation here? Just to break up the second line a bit.

The mountains loom in the distance.
Gray peaks reaching for the sky,
clinging to the cold snow filled clouds
that threatened to release there bounty.

^^ Lovely description of the skies here, and 'bounty' is a very clever word to use, good as a treasure or bad as 'stolen goods' (that's what I think anyway :D). I think the 'there' proceeding it needs to be a 'their', but I'm not here to be picky!

The snow begins swirling thickly, all around
blinding the wolf as the ice hits
the sore unprotected eyes.
It is almost ready to give up the fight
but finds the strength to put one paw in front of the other.

^^ This could have really been two stanzas here, as there is too much going on for just one. I would suggest splitting it up as it has changed the flow a bit, which would be a shame to put down such a lovely poem! Also a few commas are needed :)

The nearby forest is covered in ice.
Icicle daggers hang from the frozen
branches high above the ground.
There is no life to be seen
except for the solitary wolf.

^^ Slowly getting back into the rhythm here, but this again could be two stanzas. This poem is one of those poems that could go on forever if you wished! I like the strong imagery of the icicles.

It wants to get warm
but there seems to be nowhere
to go so it keeps moving on.
finally finding a cave it sleeps
through the long frigid night.

^^ Yay! Back into the rhythm we all love :D. Might I suggest replacing the 'get' in the first line with a 'be'? In my head it sounds a bit odd.

The next day it starts again
the wolf wonders, looking for food
and a new place to slumber
until the next day comes
and the battle starts again.

^^ A great end to the poem, and I love the idea of 'battle' not being fighting against other wolves, the battle being that against its home. Well done :)

Reading the other comments, I guessed that you have changed the poem recently? I think it has vastly improved from what I have read in the comments above, so well done for all of it. A really nice read, 5/5.

Ahhh this is a bit long :D

Keep writing,
Em :)

Interesting. I thought it was a decent poem, not one of my favorites, but still good. I agree with the others, the word 'you' was used too much. That was the only thing wrong though.