I like you in a dream sense

I really like this poem. i feel this way sometimes too. i think a lot of people can realte to it and that's what i love about it. i think it's amazing! don't stop writing!!!!!

"I..." my heart strangles the words as if by hearing them it would shutter.
Gasping echoes in my throat, suffocating; the words that I want to say.
Sobs with no tears eject from my throat trying to squeeze out the sentence."

Wow, what a captivating opening! The descriptions here take my breath away! You really give a reader a sense of what you're feeling when you are trying to say these words, beautiful work..

"Like..." the acid streaming from my craving heart burns against my tongue.
My chest beating like a bongo drum during a feverish rain dance is heard,
Quickening breath takes over my lungs in an attempt to catch myself."

I like how you put the simile with the bongo drum, had a great affect. Well-expresed feeling, I feel like this poem is going to explode it has so much in it...

"You..." My heart squeezes, threatening to take my life for such words.
As one, single tear glides down my face as if my cheek were black ice.
My throat closes as I feel myself drifting into complete blackness."

I love how you say "as if my cheek were black ice", wonderful simile!

"Awoken by a thunderous beeping, lights flashing, could I be dead?
Eyelashes flutter to a gaping stare as I realize it is my vexing alarm.
I should have known I could truly never speak of this without a dream."

Good ending, kind of unexpected too. Overall, amazing job, flow was superb! Keep writing, always and forever...

Wow. this poem was amazing. you really expressd your feelings! i loved this. i like how you wrote it too. not many people can pull off the whole story like form of wirting, but you, my dear, HAVE! :]

Wow. This poem is so emotive and filled with wonderfl imagery and metaphors. I also love the way you have set out the stanzas, different but I like it :) On with the poem....:

"I..." my heart strangles the words as if by hearing them it would shutter.
Gasping echoes in my throat, suffocating; the words that I want to say.
Sobs with no tears eject from my throat trying to squeeze out the sentence.

^^ Really nice stanza, some disturbing images conjured! Very good, but 'shutter'? Should it be 'shatter'? Well, obviously it's your poem but I think that would make more sense. And I'm not too sure if the smei colon needs to be there in the second line, but it depends what you're going for.

"Like..." the acid streaming from my craving heart burns against my tongue.
My chest beating like a bongo drum during a feverish rain dance is heard,
Quickening breath takes over my lungs in an attempt to catch myself.

^^ Again some amazing images here, so different and quirky. I like the idea of the bongo drums, but I think it needs some commas:

[My chest, beating like a bongo drum during a feverish rain dance, is heard]

But all in all a nice stanza :)

"You..." My heart squeezes, threatening to take my life for such words.
As one, single tear glides down my face as if my cheek were black ice.
My throat closes as I feel myself drifting into complete blackness.

^^ Again, very good. Here the poem becomes darker, which is quite subtle but it works. I'm not sure about 'black' beign repeated: 'black ice' then 'complete blackness'. Maybe it should be 'complete darkness'? But it's good anyway.

Awoken by a thunderous beeping, lights flashing, could I be dead?
Eyelashes flutter to a gaping stare as I realize it is my vexing alarm.
I should have known I could truly never speak of this without a dream.

^^ A sudden twist, but it's a bit predicted from the title. Maybe the title should just be 'I Like You...' Ahh sorry I don't mean to be picky! I like the questioning in the poem, very clever. I don't know why but I really like the 'eyelashes flutter' bit :) The last bit is a bit sad, but good as it ends everything nicely.

Overall, a very good poem, 5/5 but if you maybe change a few things it might get more ratings from other people. You should be proud of this, I'm glad you featured it.

Keep writing,
Em :)