Two sides to me

There's two sides to me,
Not many people know.
The one that people like,
Then the one that I don't show.

The second sick and twisted
Hard to understand
But happy in a way
So high I cannot stand.

See the second side to me
Is weird in many ways
Bleeding out my love,
Only the pain remains

I love the adrenaline
That comes from tearing at my skin
Blood flowing me into unconsciousness
The searing pain begins

Day after day
My routine continues
My first sides on show
MY second side still lingers

But as the darkness falls
My second side comes out to play
Cutting myself to happiness
Wishing this way I could stay..