Just tell me goodbye.

- i realize this is not a typical poem, and it may not even be a poem at all. i just needed to get a few things off my chest.

I still miss you, and I do not know what I am suppose to do.
Silly, I know it seems, that I cannot tell you this,
But just maybe you wont find me,
Maybe you will never know I had wrote this,
And maybe it will never matter.

But I still cry sometimes, and I do not know what I am suppose to do.
The memories make my heart crumble into pieces.
The pain just keeps growing and growing.
That is why it seems like I hate you.
I hate the pain that you always bring,
Because I cant remember the time I felt butterflies in my stomach.
I cant remember the last time I truly smiled from my heart.
I cant remember the happiness; it has gone away.

I still wonder sometimes, if I made the right choice,
If I could have done something more to change the way things could have been.
But you seem so happy with the way things have gone,
And it brings a little joy to my heart to know you are alright.
I wonder if you ever think of me,
Do you still have the pictures of us,
What do you do with all the memories,
Do they hurt you too?
Or is it just me,
Am I really all alone?

I still have the picture in a frame,
And I still see the happiness pouring from your heart,
As we stood there together on that warm summer day.
I do not understand how that has all gone away, so quickly.
Just tell me it was never there.
Tell me you never cared.
Tell me you are better off this way.
Tell me you do not want me anymore.
Tell me you never did.
Tell me you hate who I am and who I am becoming.
Tell me you love her with all of your heart and always have.
I cannot go on much longer not knowing,
How you could have done and said all the things you did,
If you really did care,
If you were truly there,
If you held me in your heart, even for a second.

I still only let myself think of you twice a day,
Once when I grab my pen and paper when the pain grows to deep.
Finally when I go to sleep.
That is when I dream about the past,
I indulge myself with memories that make me smile and cry.
I am terrified to forget everything,
And I do not know why.
Tell me I am stupid.
Tell me I need to move on.
Tell me you could never love me.
Tell me to leave you behind,
It never mattered anyway.
Just tell me goodbye.