What's my Purpose?

Everyday thoughts of suicide sweep my mind
Given opportunities are wasted
What is keeping me from succeeding
...why?

The walls of my life
Are blank with happy memories
Of my forgotten childhood
Passed around like yesterday's news

If one couple didn't want me
Who is to say everyone else does
They don't understand the hurt I bare
Under the facade I have perfected

Whose beacon of light or guidance am I?
Who am I to protect
When every time I get close
Can't console their sorrows

Friends are just more ties
That hold me to this earth
Keep me visible
Make my end more compelling

I was born with my eyes closed,
Live with them sewn shut
No glimpse of the outside world
To influence my decision

I dare not speak
My role is to be seen but not heard
Make others feel better by comparison
Is this my reason for living?

And when they grow up
What happens then?
Do I just become a foot note in their memory
Etched into their guilt ridden minds

Why do I live?
Is it a choice for how long
Or is my time prechosen
After my duty is fulfilled