Sorry

I'm sorry for all the things I did
I should have just old you the pain I hid
I shouldn't have kept you out of the light
Maybe then it wouldn't have turned into a fight

I should have let you know my mind
Instead of leaving you confused and behind
I should have let you in on my feelings
Maybe then we wouldn't have dealt with those dealings

I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you
If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be doing the things you do.
Like cutting lines that aren't meant for your arm
I never meant to make you want self harm

I never meant for you to turn depressed
I didn't want things to happen like this
I can't take back the words I said
Though I'm screaming I'm sorry in my head

There's nothing I can do
To cease the pain I caused you
Even if things were right
I would still about the things I did every night

If I had a time machine, I would go back
Change the one thing I regret for a fact
If I could eat the words I spoke
Maybe then it could have ended on a happy note

I wish I hadn't thought those thoughts
Maybe then we wouldn't have fought those foughts
Maybe we would still be together
Being 80 years old in love forever

What if I could piece back your heart?
Maybe then you can begin with a new start
I know those 9 months always meant something
I'm not just going to sit by and watch them turn into nothing

I know that I had something great
I know that what happened was more than just fate
Maybe that's why my mind turned upside down
And why your smile turned into a frown

I remember all those lovely nights
The ones that I will remember my whole entire life
The ones that made my heart melt slow
Telling you secrets that you still are the only one to know

Do you remember the same things I do?
Laying in the kitchen and the very first I love you
I guess those are things that can't be forgotten
There's no type of store that memories can be bought in

I don't know what else to say
But I know there will be other days
I don't know what my mind is doing now
When events will happen or even how

I know this doesn't give you incite
And believe me I'm not taking this situation light
My mind will go through a ton of struggles
But I know it will get me through my troubles

I can't promise you eternal happiness
But that's just because I can't even give myself this
I know right now things are tough
And you feel so down and so unloved

I feel the same way that you do
Feeling as if I'm walking around this world with no clue
Feeling as if I let everyone down
Knowing that no one can hear my whimpering sounds

I can't cure the disease I have
I'm not even sure I can reduce yours by half
Especially since I'm the one who caused it
That is something I have to admit

No matter how much it hurts me so
I already know what I did was low
I get reminded everyday
Like like a tape recording of the things I say

These final lines end this piece
Of old memories that I'm finally letting be
That's all I really have to let out
Though this poem doesn't tell you what I'm all about