Defenseless Against the Rain

by Bianca   Jan 9, 2009


Truth cuts in through the core of my soul,
And I turn away quickly,
Eternally lost within the song of rain.
It's rather puzzling.
Rain comes down together,
and yet their song is full of a loneliness
so overwhelming it frightens even the gods.
They cry out in desperation heard many a times by
a broken soul like me,
but never once by someone of importance.
never once by someone that mattered,
or truthfully cared.
And with the song so much like silent tears,
how can one possibly understand?
When filled with such hatred and weakness
as uncontrollable as life's misleading smile,
how does one escape?
And how can one run
from the song once heard?
As the sound echoes louder,
and becomes not so distant,
I cannot rightfully walk away.
Truth hurts.
Yes, truth hurts.
And the lonely rain understands.
It sings its lonely song and
keeps me in a trance,
ultimately capturing me in a pain far
greater than ever before.
My lips betray me as I open them
ever so slightly,
defenseless now against the rain.
As a single drop enters,
I taste the sweetness that's bound to kill me,
craving more with every second that passes.
And every second I burn more inside,
with life's misconception eating me
away like a hungry beast.
I have felt many a pain come and go,
but never once have I drank from
a cup of despair and black like the one of today.
I mustn't think of the cup of my tomorrow,
for tomorrow, now, seems so distant.
With a song like this,
tomorrow seems as far fetched as the lie of love.
In a world as oppressed and pitiful as this,
how does one hope?
With a drop of rain as powerful
and deadly as the one drank,
how can one ever feel whole?
And in a nightmare as frightening as mine,
how does one open their eyes and live?
The cold pierces through me,
as the song of rain continues to play..
And I am reminded of my truth.
I am reminded..
And now, I can never again forget.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Teria

    I really, really like this poem. I do suggest making the lines shorter, they're so long that they're carrying into another line, creating an odd structured poem in the area available. On top of that the long lines didn't give me time to breathe while reading alloud. You can easily take the lines and make them shorter without changing any of the words, which are well written by the way. In return you'll get a much better flow and a nicely structured poem.

    Here's a suggest for two of the lines, you can take that and do as you please with the rest. If you please to do anything.

    "Rain comes down together, and yet their song is full of a loneliness so overwhelming it frightens even the gods.
    They cry out in desperation heard many a times by a broken soul like me,
    but never once by someone of importance."
    - I will say that in the poem above the lines are separated almost where they need to be, but not quite. You need to separate them yourself to get it right. Here's the change I came up with;

    [Rain comes down together and yet their song is full of loneliness,
    so overwhelming it frightens even the Gods.
    They cry out in desperation heard many a times,
    by a broke soul like me, never once by someone of importance.]
    - Do notice though that there are changes word-wise made to the few lines. That is NOT because of the shortening but because of what I thought sounded better. The rest of the poem is well written. A few spots I thought could use a little pick me up (or down) but you can figure that out in your own time if you'd like to.

    As for a title, I think the only thing that stuck out to me (not the only thing, but the one that did most of all) was "Defenseless against the rain"

    That line was amazing, by the way. Loved it. Captured the entire poem. Made the entire poem.

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