Colored Pencil Love

by Krista   Jan 25, 2009

She takes her stubby pencil of red,
desperately tries to show the tears she shed.
But the pencil shatters against her will,
the tears in her eyes just don't seem to spill.
So she grabs another pencil that's bright yellow,
her eyes bright and mellow.
The greens and blues explode across the page,
the colors turning into a stage.
Two young people stand at the edge,
their hands held together in a quiet pledge.
Eyes so quiet they bind in the light,
two more wandering souls finally unite.
Colors spill across the paper,
the tears in her eyes turning to vapor.
Her mouth turns up in a smile,
her lover standing ahead in the aisle.


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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Scarlet Letter

    This is so sweet. I loved how you incorperated colored pencils and love. Great combination by the way. Really smart I wouyld have never thought of it.

  • 11 years ago

    by WaitAutumn

    I loved the use of colors; creative and sensitive. Giving the reader such an image. The whole poem just makes you want to smile.

    "But the pencil shatters against her will,
    the tears in her eyes just don't seem to spill."
    this part was my favourite.

    loved the poem

  • 11 years ago

    by kevin Boundy AKA the ghost

    Omg perfection is simply the only way to describe this one (as a love writer i know lol) this one was simply incredible the only way to rate this is 6/5 lol

  • 11 years ago

    by Austin

    You sounded like you wanted honest comments so I'll try to do my best.

    1. There were quite a few minor errors, an apostrophe here or a comma there. Nothing too big.

    2. The story was very very nice. I enjoyed it throughout. I loved the entire theme of it and the way you incorporated love into the poem.

    3. There were a few words that I thought may have been placed in just for the sake of rhyming? It really doesn't matter because its your poem - and frankly as long as it makes sense to you then everyone else can screw off.

    4. Don't begin sentences with the word "so". Its not formally acceptable.

    5. It was a great poem. The imagery is what makes it. Keep writing like this and you'll do great.

  • 11 years ago

    by CanUKissAwayMyPain

    I realie love the imagerny here on this poem. i could see everything what she was doing while i was reading it. i realie love it a bit sad indeed. nicely done here. for me u dnt gotta change anything.
    5/5 yuppers

    TaKE CaRe,