My Burden

I'm laying here with second best
And it's slaughtering your soul
He's soaking up my lovers bliss
But he doesn't make me whole

Is it clear I do it out of spite?
Or do you see maturity?
Either way, you're seething just to know
That HE stole my purity

And it kills that he owns what is yours
But what you wouldn't take
You were a fool, so stupid! Immature
Why were you scared, for goodness sake!?

It eats at me now, looking back
We were so young and naive
Our love got lost between those lies
And now you cry, I grieve

So stop yourself before you judge me
Yes I gave it all away!
The frustration you can live with
But it rips me up each day

I'll have to haul this burden with me
On every journey I take on
Detesting who I let unclean me
My innocence - forever gone

The throbbing pain won't cease with new love
And the hurt won't heal with time
But I'm expunging all those memories
From back when you were mine

Now nothing fits, but I'm past caring
Go ahead call me a quitter!
I can't have perfect, thanks to you
Oh baby, YES I'm bitter.

January '09.