Perish While You Can

by Sweet Disposition   Mar 4, 2009


You fill me up with emptiness
Till I choke on broken air
Your mind's my stupid play-thing
And I guess it's just not fair

The thudding noise your heart makes
Is our background music now
It plays each time you whisper
Or when I cause another row

Lips trembling with each touch
You still yearn to have me close
Gripping my emaciated ribcage;
The skeleton of my ghost

For there's nothing I can offer you
I have no qualities to give
My soul's been swallowed whole now
And I've lost all will to live

So quickly perish while you can
Before I pass on this disease
Just quit mixing those old potions
This heart's impossible to please!

I should never have reeled you in
And caught you with this evil net
Be gone! Go fast and leave me
To suffocate in dark regret

Let your wisdom spread its wings
For it deserves the chance to soar
Then perhaps the act of saving you
Will be this reckless monster's cure

February/March '09

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Beauty Within These Pages of Darkness

    I could really feel the meaning of this piece....well done....good.....the flow of this piece is great.

    tc x

    b.w.t.p.o.d

  • 15 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    A very good piece. Your first two lines - I loved them! It was a great, strong, though out beginning. The juxtaposition of being filled up with air was brilliant. You had several examples of juxtaposition throughout the piece, which I think was key to the success to this piece. I also liked your rhymes extremely. In particular, the rhyme in the third stanza, of ‘close’ and ‘ghost’ was unexpected, but good, very good. The piece also ended on a strong note, which is always a good thing. Even if your middle sucks, a strong start and finish is fundamental. A very good piece.

    Brad

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