Poetic Transaction (collab)

A true pleasure to read, the scene flows softly from the readers mouth and unfolds wounderfully in front of them. ther choice of wards was really good but a bit simple at times. all in all a real good poem =) credit to the writers

"Professing undying love through rhyme and verse
Written in a shade of ink you can never reverse

Scriptures permanently embedded on the heart
Piercing through our skin as modern day art"

^^Ahhh...what a beautiful, beautiful opening! The imagery within these lines is absolutely fantastic, so striking and creates such vivid pictures in my mind, while the flow is faultless.

"Covering the truth with a sultry veil of distraction
It's time to exchange this lover's poetic transaction

No longer speaking a language of metaphors
Seasons of love flourish opening new doors"

^^I'm finding this piece to become better and better as I go along, with each line better than the one before it.

"As these beautiful aspirations seem to submerge
You send three flawless words in which I immerge"

^^I didn't like the use of "you" here...maybe: Sending three flawless words in which I immerge?

"Lost in your dark eyes with no way out of this maze
Clouds of lust roll in covering us in a poetic haze"

^^Favourite lines of the piece, these are just beautiful.

"Fate is coloring my life with rainbows and glitter
Years of endless searching, I finally found my answer"

^^I love the imagery within the first line, however I didn't like the rhyimg, up until now the rhyme has been perfect and it falters here which threw me a little.

"Shrouded under the mist letting our lips eclipse
Caressing skin to skin, decoding body scripts

Waking up weak in your arms under a starry night
Infatuation so strong, unable to resist or fight"

^^I really enjoyed the emotion and depth within these lines, they are easily felt and left me with such a sweet feeling.

"Clear interpretations, giving in to sweet temptation
Writing a million phrases, inspired by our creation"

^^This is a beautiful way to wrap this piece up..

I am left speechless with this piece, apart from the minor two things I pointed out, I found this to be perfect.

The flow is flawless throughout, rolls right of the tongue, while the imagery, wording, and content all melt together to create a beautiful read.

You can always tell when a collab is good when you can't tell who wrote which part, as is the case here.

I hope to see more of you two in the future.

This is a very well done collab, seamless so that you cannot tell who wrote which lines. It is a beautiful love poem. Good job to both writers. 5/5

OMGG i love it!! so amazing!!!

Wow, wow, wow!
Your best collab yet, in my opinion.
Truly amazing! Wow! This piece of poetry screamed love.. i really enjoyed reading it.
Your collabs are wonderfully written, but this one just stood out on top for me.

Lost in your dark eyes with no way out of this maze
^^ I love this. It made me think of looking into someones eyes and not being able to look away.. lovee <3

I dont even have words to describe how amazing this piece of amazing poetry is. It was a stunning poem.
Keep writing together, you two really work together well.
5/5