Not My Friend

by AnCi   Feb 22, 2009


If I was sad and tears were flowing down my eyes
I'm sure you wouldn't comfort me
If I was chocked by an unpleasant surprise
I'm sure you wouldn't be here for me
If I was hurt and my heart has been broken
I'm sure you wouldn't be here to help me
If something so terrible happened that it couldn't be spoken
I'm sure you wouldn't be here to listen to me
All you do is hurt me, I realize in the end
But still you want to call yourself my friend...

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Konstantin

    Ana, well written, sincere and full of feelings.
    But there's one mistake
    'If I was hurt and my heart has been broken'.
    You should have written
    If I was hurt and my heart HAD been broken.
    Konstantin.

  • 14 years ago

    by Not Enough

    If I was sad and tears were flowing down my eyes
    I'm sure you wouldn't comfort me
    If I was chocked by an unpleasant surprise
    I'm sure you wouldn't be here for me

    ^^ Wow, that's really harsh, I like it. It's a great way to start. And the rhyme scheme is good. I like the whole idea of the poem,it's quite unique.

    If I was hurt and my heart has been broken
    I'm sure you wouldn't be here to help me
    If something so terrible happened that it couldn't be spoken
    I'm sure you wouldn't be here to listen to me

    ^^ Wow, again it's quite harsh. Not in a bad way at all though, it adds a lot more emotion and power to your choice of words.

    All you do is hurt me, I realize in the end
    But still you want to call yourself my friend...

    ^^ I think if you added some syllables in the last line it would b much mor powerful. It's a great eniding. But I fnd that the last line just doens't fit with less syllables. Sorry if that's mean. You don't have to change it because it's already a great poem, so sorry for the critisism lol. And sorry I don't have ay suggestions on what to add.

    Soda E>

  • 14 years ago

    by FlawlesslyTarnished

    This piece was different from anything I've read. Well written, and a good way to define how friends shouldn't be. I think it's very relateable. [To me, anyway] I like that the lines rhyme. I didn't really notice while reading, but after I read it again, I did. (: And I also like the way you ended the piece. Great write. 5/5.

  • 14 years ago

    by Day Lee

    Awww..
    i feel it...
    it's touching.

  • 14 years ago

    by Love is a Beautiful Thing

    This one is great i really really know how you feel you let put your feelings about how your friends make you feel. its a really great poem great job