Chages And Emothins Of A Season

by Bullets Are My Best Friend   Feb 26, 2009


As i walk across the sea,
I feel alive and free.
The blue shiny splashing waves,
Sooth me to sane.
But when the weather changes,
My head feels like I'm craving,
Like a certain season triggers me,
and i change in a snap.
it's like I'm ready to attack.

But then The sun comes out,
And look with a smile,
so i walk across the sea,
feeling alive and free.

If this don't make sense tell me
to me i don't this is what came to my head.
Hope you like it :) x

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    First off, the title should be "Changes and Emotions of a Season", you just spelled two words wrong, no big deal.

    "As i walk across the sea,
    I feel alive and free.
    The blue shiny splashing waves,
    Sooth me to sane."

    I love how you open this piece, with simple yet descriptive wording. Just one thing, all of the "i"s in your poem should be capitalized.

    "But when the weather changes,
    My head feels like I'm craving,
    Like a certain season triggers me,
    and i change in a snap.
    it's like I'm ready to attack."

    Fourth line: Instead of ending with a period, just put a comma instead, I think it would read better.

    "But then The sun comes out,
    And look with a smile,
    so i walk across the sea,
    feeling alive and free."

    First line: "The" doesn't need to be capitalized.

    Second line: Who looks with a smile? You should write who, because I can't tell when I read this.

    Last lines: I do like the repition here, but I do think you could elaborate on this piece and make it more lenghy, describing more than you did, what about the sky, the wind in your hair, etc. 4/5 from me, I did enjoy this but I think there could be more work on it.

    Take care, keep writing, always and forever. God Bless you!

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