When It Rains

"Hiding scars & tears so well
I always knew there was nobody I could tell"

Exactly how I feel ..

Great job

5/5

As the storm brews within the wind
Washing away all the sins
Loneliness is felt upon my face
Hiding the tears of a worthless waste

*I love how you start this. It's so rich with emotion and beautiful imagery. Nice work.*

Vibrant colors sending messages in rue
Waiting in a dark ally, but for who?
Hope is sprung, but not yet found
& as the rain still falls, in deep puddles I drown

*Love the diction here. I would take out the & sigh..it takes away from the poem*

Only stars is what can be seen
Hoping for a magical place that was once in my dream
& as the dark becomes less clear
Life is not what I thought, no longer can I bear

*I love how the emotions change here. Very deep. I love it*

Hiding scars & tears so well
I always knew there was nobody I could tell

*I don't like how you ended it. It seems like you gave up. I would make it like the other stanza's that way you keep the flow and end on a more powerful note. other then that nice work. I enjoyed reading it. Shanik*

What can I say? Another amazingg write from you.
'Hope is sprung, but not yet found
& as the rain still falls, in deep puddles I drown'
- I really like these lines. The hope that tomorrow will be better and not be as hard as yesterday is always there in the back of our minds. You tore the words right out of my brain. I loved it, keep it up xx