Eliciting A Ghost

I wont go into much depth on this, as I'm sure its already been said. First, I apologize for not giving you your contest prize earlier.

The beginning is really strong, I loved the unique usage behind the word punctures, I really loved that.. your imagery is also amazing in the beginning.. I could imagine every word vividly.

This poem was really original, your style and format is unlike any other poet here as well. What can I say.. this has to be a masterpiece.

Beautifully written.. title is flawless too!
5/5.

Temps. :]

Hey lovely :) you were a runner up in my contest thingy so I owe you three comments. Like some sort of literary gangster deal aha. So try not to get sick of me :)

'Sunlight punctures the still silent air'

From this I get an image of sunlight through slightly open blinds or drapes, as if the sunlight is seeping through the gaps. Loved 'punctures', as if the sunlight is sharp, realy liked that.

'chalky as it swirls around your dresser'

Were you writing about a female in this piece? Just because the word 'dresser' seems quite feminine - might be just me. I think 'swirls' was a strange choice of word - contrasted with 'puncture' in the first line. However, I do think your word choices are spot on:

'flying nonchalant, then abruptly falling,
casting shadows on our faces: neatly framed.'

Neatly framed? Loved that, it's such a picturesque opening, you provide noteworthy detail on your descriptions. The topic you chose had potential to be a very vivid and warm piece. Exactly like this one.

'obvious passion is photogenic.'

Possibly my favourite line in the piece - not much more to say about it.

'and oh, what passion we sheathed,
dancing together beneath these sheets.'

I love how you did this stanza in reference to the line above. 'Dancing' made it almost seem like it was choreographed. Beautiful imagery. 'These' allowed the reader to sort of be witness to what you were saying, very visual.

'you may be gone, but our bed is still warm.'

This line was striking; it read almost like an afterthought. Almost making reference to the 'neatly framed' faces. The way you described it as 'warm' made it seem like the memory is still there, as if it hasn't faded. Like it was just (yesterday) that the persona and he/she were dancing between the sheets. Ah :). I thought you said a lot in the small word count and I chose it as a runner up, because of this. Keep it up. You don't cease to impress me.

Loved the title! It really captured my attention and made me curious to see how the poem would play out.

"Sunlight punctures the still silent air"
^Right off from the beginning with your first line, you have wowed me girl! "sunlight" "still" "silent" What an amazing use of alliteration to give this poem a unique "pop" and make it stand out. I loved your use of the word "puncture" because in my mind I could see the sunlight breaking through and beckoning eyes to wake. It reveals that the sunlight wasnt welcome...great use of imagery!

Your first stanza as a whole blew me away Nova! What a great way to start a poem...very descriptive in setting in the scene and it was as if I was there witnessing it all with my own eyes. Your use of words were different from the norm yet easy for everyone to understand which was amazing. I am in awe of how you opened this piece.

"and oh, what passion we sheathed,
dancing together beneath these sheets."
^Loved it! I loved how you described it as "dancing" haha I know how youre a dancer so my brain made the correleation. You described and said so much these two lines that I can go on about them. It was amazing.

"you may be gone, but our bed is still warm"
^I loved the ending because it was simple compared to the rest of the poem. You said what you had to say and got it across flawlessly without having to add any glitter or sparkle. It hit home and was like BAM in my mind. The transition from your descriptions of the sunlight making its way around the room and then remembering the night you two spent together...the last line was the perfect ending in my opinion. Flawless.

Wonderful poem Nova!
Blew me away. :]
*5/5*