Ink Stained

Joe
You did a awesome job on this piece. The rhyme and flow are great. It just rolled right off my tounge as I read your words. Love the imagery.
Excellent!
Take Care
Cindy

That was rad. XD I like this poem very much.

There was some negative and positive lexis in here and I was confused what tone you were attempting:

Nice insight on the art of tattooing

'We will not see his displaced pain,
youthful remembrance he did gain.'

It seems like 'he did gain' is a way of inverting the grammar so the rhyme works. I'd suggest rephrasing as it's as if the poem jolts. I thought the second stanza was better, and I liked how you portrayed your insight. It was clear and your rhythm was spot on.
You changed tense in the last line though as it was 'he will get a tattoo' whereas in the third stanza, you immediately switch to past tense with 'disgraced', if you kept it all in the past tense, it would flow nicer. :)

'Whether a heart, quote or flag,
his skin will be forever tagged.'

I like the idea of being 'tagged', quite a negative image but an original one nonetheless. It reminded me of branding like sheep yet tattoos are supposed to represent individuality. Interesting.

The last stanza was most strong, it had a warm ending, and quite a sentimental message behind what was written. He shows rebellion usually assosciated with parents, and angst yet he gets his mother on his back.

Nice work!

Wow. What a very unique piece. This was quite a nice read. True that the ink depicts the pain or thoughts of a place we have been in our lives that no one would otherwise see. Wonderful write. Great Job

I didn't know a poem like this could be written about something as simple as a tattoo.
this is the first i've read like this. ever.
to me, it has more meaning than just a guy getting his first tattoo in dedication to his mother.
i think you're trying to get something more with writing this.
be it what it may, i enjoyed reading this unique piece.
definitely deserves a good vote.

take care,
Liz =]