Ink Stained

by Italian Stallion   Mar 26, 2009


Whose back this is I think I know...
His private message will soon show.
We will not see his displaced pain,
youthful remembrance he did gain.

His parents showed him genuine scorn,
your body's secret will soon be worn.
He had no answer, what could they know?
Under the needle he will go.

The menacing tool disgracing his skin,
reflecting the rebellion from deep within.
Whether a heart, quote or flag,
his skin will be forever tagged.

Blind to all comments, on he tread,
Bragging - not a tear he shed.
Revealed - stained on the back,
a heart with mom encrypted in black.

© Copyright 2009 By: Italian Stallion

*Inspired by Robert Frost*

1


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Cindy

    Joe
    You did a awesome job on this piece. The rhyme and flow are great. It just rolled right off my tounge as I read your words. Love the imagery.
    Excellent!
    Take Care
    Cindy

  • 12 years ago

    by xx

    That was rad. XD I like this poem very much.

  • 13 years ago

    by The Prince

    There was some negative and positive lexis in here and I was confused what tone you were attempting:

    Nice insight on the art of tattooing

    'We will not see his displaced pain,
    youthful remembrance he did gain.'

    It seems like 'he did gain' is a way of inverting the grammar so the rhyme works. I'd suggest rephrasing as it's as if the poem jolts. I thought the second stanza was better, and I liked how you portrayed your insight. It was clear and your rhythm was spot on.
    You changed tense in the last line though as it was 'he will get a tattoo' whereas in the third stanza, you immediately switch to past tense with 'disgraced', if you kept it all in the past tense, it would flow nicer. :)

    'Whether a heart, quote or flag,
    his skin will be forever tagged.'

    I like the idea of being 'tagged', quite a negative image but an original one nonetheless. It reminded me of branding like sheep yet tattoos are supposed to represent individuality. Interesting.

    The last stanza was most strong, it had a warm ending, and quite a sentimental message behind what was written. He shows rebellion usually assosciated with parents, and angst yet he gets his mother on his back.

    Nice work!

  • 13 years ago

    by Dixiedaisy

    Wow. What a very unique piece. This was quite a nice read. True that the ink depicts the pain or thoughts of a place we have been in our lives that no one would otherwise see. Wonderful write. Great Job

  • 13 years ago

    by Liz

    I didn't know a poem like this could be written about something as simple as a tattoo.
    this is the first i've read like this. ever.
    to me, it has more meaning than just a guy getting his first tattoo in dedication to his mother.
    i think you're trying to get something more with writing this.
    be it what it may, i enjoyed reading this unique piece.
    definitely deserves a good vote.

    take care,
    Liz =]