"Tormented words written in ink
God will give them blood to drink
Golden rules for all of the living
Rejected boldly by the unforgiving"

-I really like the second line. Your choice of words was amazing. In my opinion, the third line sounds better without "of", but that's not to say it doesn't already sound good. Could be better, is all. And at first I thought that the last line would be better without "boldly", but I realized now that without that word, the line last wouldn't be as powerful.

"Words written in many ancient fables
Revisited in the house of seven gables
Though if you take a much deeper look
You might find them in the good book"

-Third line sounds better without "much". Depends on perspective, though.

"Revenge is sweet to the witches
Coveting carnal wealth and riches
Buried treasures in tainted ground
What is given freely comes around"

-Oh, wow. I absolutely loved this stanza! Especially the last two lines. Ah-may-zing!

"Darkness comes to the wicked in a curse
For everything holy there is the reverse
It all boils down to a simple choice
We may be sorry, or we may rejoice"

-My favorite lines from this stanza are the second and last one. They win hands down.

"We may judge, and cast the first stone
Yet, judgment is for the Lord alone
Forbearance of contrite sisters and brothers
As we are forgiven we must forgive others"

-Again, powerful last line.

"When we turn away from blessed bread
Our heart is cold and our soul is dead
Our mind's often too proud too think
That God will give us blood to drink"

-Nicely done. Again, I really like the second and last line.

"The world has been baptized by flood
Mercifully cleansed by divine blood
We may rise above, or we may sink
But, God will give us blood to drink"

-Repetition of the line "God will give us (them) blood to drink" was a good move. I like it. I like it a lot.

Every last line in your stanzas is very powerful. You don't see that too often. Usually the most powerful line in a poem is the last line of the very last stanza, but not yours. Haha, way to show off. =P

Great job.

Darkness comes to the wicked in a curse
For everything holy there is the reverse

Those two lines threw the poem off . But otherwise the flow was perfect . Really enjoyed the rhymes , they're different .

Tormented words written in ink
God will give them blood to drink
--- Wow. That as an opening was really intense. I mean the use of God in that way.. I don't know it just kind of shocked me. I had to take a second to absorb it.

Revenge is sweet to the witches
Coveting carnal wealth and riches
--- I love how you used the line "Revenge is sweet", yet you made it your own.

As we are forgiven we must forgive others
--- That line is so true. You always need to forgive. *nods* If we don't forgive you'll just have a heart full of hate.

Our mind's often too proud too think
That God will give us blood to drink
--- That line still shocks me, but I think it means something good.. Hmm. I need to think about that. lol

Great ending. Love the repetition. :]

Great job.

Cayce

Wow that was a great poem honestly. The rhyme was perfect right along with the flow of the poem. The poem gave really good imagery.
Favorite part was "And, God will Give them blood to drink." That is awesome. This poem Gets A 5/5 for me.

Tormented words written in ink
God will give them blood to drink
Golden rules for all the living
Rejected boldly by the unforgiving

* This seemed so vivid to me. I had to read the poem twice before i could fully take it in and understand it, but i like that about it. The bold rejection gave so much power to your words.

Words written in many ancient fables
Revisited in the house of seven gables
Though if you take a deeper look
You might find them in the good book

* I like this as well. Again, very vivid as you read it. I like the way you bring the reader to piece together the stories we hear in our youth to the stories we read in the bible. your words couldn't have been any better!

Revenge is sweet to the witches
Coveting carnal wealth and riches
Buried treasures in tainted ground
What is given freely comes around

* Honestly, i don't understand this at all. To me, it kind of offsets the poem.

Darkness comes to the wicked in a curse
For everything holy there is the reverse
It all boils down to a simple choice
We may be sorry, or we may rejoice

We may judge, and cast the first stone
Yet, judgment is for the Lord alone
Forbearance of contrite sisters and brothers
As we are forgiven we must forgive others

When we turn away from blessed bread
Our heart is cold and our soul is dead
Our mind's often too proud too think
That God will give us blood to drink

* These three flow wonderfully and bring a lot of perspective to me personally, and hopefull all that read it. There is nothing i would change at all! i love these three! My favorite.

The world has been baptized by flood
Mercifully cleansed by divine blood
We may rise above, or we may sink
But, God will give us blood to drink

* Wonderful way to end the poem. The only thing i don't quite care for is
"The world has been baptized by flood
Mercifully cleanesed by divine blood."
I think the second line is beautiful, but i don't quite feel a flow.

All together a great poem! I really enjoyed reading it! :-)

Thank you very much for the comment the poem was inspired by the events of innocent people being hung as witches

The last words revisited in the house of seven gables
I young girls last words to her prosecutor
" God will give you blood to drink" came true when a blood vessel burst inside the witch hunter

I really liked your rhyme here, it was almost perfect at most of the times, I couldn't guess what's going on next, which is a good thing.

"Though if you take a deeper look
You might find them in the good book"

^Must you use the "though" here? I think less fillers=less confusion in the poem, without it the poem looks much better :)

"It all boils down to a simple choice
We may be sorry, or we may rejoice"

^ I don't think you need the "or" in the last line, it looks better without it.
This couplet had the most cliche wording of the whole poem..I thought the poem in all was very good, but here the rhyme went a little bit off.

"Our mind's often too proud too think"

^Should be "Our mind's often too proud to think"
and a good line by the way :) well chosen !

"Forbearance of contrite sisters and brothers
As we are forgiven we must forgive others"

^ I think those lines were my fave, especially the second one, well done.

I found it pretty odd the line you repeated:
"God will give us blood to drink" I didn't really like it, it was dark..really really dark and I don't believe in this darkness.
Overall..I gotta say I haven't read dark poems in a while, but this one was really good, your flow-like I said- went almost flawless.
Very well written.
Way to go :-)

The poem is great and I enjoyed it very much.
I was at first offended by the lines, God will give them blood to drink and That God will give us blood to drink in the first and sixth stanza until I read your explanation in the comment column. Blasphemy is still all around us even today, so metaphorically we must still be aware of the consequences when using poetic license if we want to reach our heaven. People today think through Jesus Christ that we are all saved maybe we are yet as a true believer in the trinity I like to edge my bets if you will pardon the pun. Why risk offend the God you love. 5/5 Ray S

You have a wonderful gift with twisting and bending words to your will, a beautiful span of vocabulary. The flow in this poem was again near perfection. I like how each stanza almost seems to be a story and yet linked together by an even larger overall topic. 5/5