Comments : Loving You (Lira)

  • 13 years ago

    by Ingrid


    Indeed, when we are in love our heart is smiling, beautifully put, dear Silvia.
    Isn't love the most beautiful feeling in the world?
    Just today I met someone , a client, who lit the spark again..I saw him and my heart went boom!, ha ha..can't wait to see him again!


    5/5 Ingrid

  • 13 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy


    Another gem from you. You really are an inspiration to us all. I see your work and just think - I want to be able to write like this! You make any form seem so effortless.

    I love the alliteration in the forth line, for me it links the whole piece.

    Well done


  • 13 years ago

    by Cindy

    What a beautiful Lyria Sylvia :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Love the form, I've never heard of this form before, maybe Ill try it myself. :]

    "My heart swells with pride tonight,"
    `I loved the usage of swells and was happy to see the first line be so happy and uplifting.

    "to know that you love me, makes my world complete."
    `Aww cute and simply said :]

    "My heart smiles with rich delight,"
    `I didnt like the repetition of heart :| but thought you did well with 'rich delight'

    "my soul sings a song so sweet,"
    `Good job switching it up and saying soul and not heart. But still, you may want to find a way of removing the 2nd heart so that it doesnt seem like your words are as repetitive. I really love your alliterations in this line, this line was full of them. Wonderful job :]

    "because of you my love, my heart skips a beat."
    `To be brutally honest with you, my heart skips a beat is cliche, and not at all original.. spice it up and make it your own.

    A sweet love poem, your syllable count was right on but other places need some work, I think.

    Good job.

    Temps [Beyond a Poets Mind]

  • 13 years ago

    by Jyoti Rawat

    It is short but sweet.

  • 13 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    This is the sweetest little verse of love I've
    read..and its filled with such warmth...very
    nice :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Corinne

    Very sweet, Sylvia :-)

  • 13 years ago

    by Ray Blue

    Hi Sylvia,

    The poem is perfect. I can see and feel through the flow of words you made. Congrats!

  • 13 years ago

    by shantal

    Dis poem should of been better

  • 13 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Exquisite Write!!!

  • 13 years ago

    by stargirl49

    Amazing work!

  • 13 years ago

    by anand singh

    Though short, this piece captivates one's heart with every word, knowing that it comes from deep within an honest heart.
    An enjoyable read.

  • 13 years ago

    by Fran

    Nice to read a poem celebrating the joys of love. It can take us so low but can also take us so high. Well done.