Comments : Loving You (Lira)

  • 11 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck


    Indeed, when we are in love our heart is smiling, beautifully put, dear Silvia.
    Isn't love the most beautiful feeling in the world?
    Just today I met someone , a client, who lit the spark again..I saw him and my heart went boom!, ha ha..can't wait to see him again!


    5/5 Ingrid

  • 11 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy


    Another gem from you. You really are an inspiration to us all. I see your work and just think - I want to be able to write like this! You make any form seem so effortless.

    I love the alliteration in the forth line, for me it links the whole piece.

    Well done


  • 11 years ago

    by Cindy

    What a beautiful Lyria Sylvia :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Love the form, I've never heard of this form before, maybe Ill try it myself. :]

    "My heart swells with pride tonight,"
    `I loved the usage of swells and was happy to see the first line be so happy and uplifting.

    "to know that you love me, makes my world complete."
    `Aww cute and simply said :]

    "My heart smiles with rich delight,"
    `I didnt like the repetition of heart :| but thought you did well with 'rich delight'

    "my soul sings a song so sweet,"
    `Good job switching it up and saying soul and not heart. But still, you may want to find a way of removing the 2nd heart so that it doesnt seem like your words are as repetitive. I really love your alliterations in this line, this line was full of them. Wonderful job :]

    "because of you my love, my heart skips a beat."
    `To be brutally honest with you, my heart skips a beat is cliche, and not at all original.. spice it up and make it your own.

    A sweet love poem, your syllable count was right on but other places need some work, I think.

    Good job.

    Temps [Beyond a Poets Mind]

  • 11 years ago

    by I am

    It is short but sweet.

  • 11 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    This is the sweetest little verse of love I've
    read..and its filled with such warmth...very
    nice :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Corinne

    Very sweet, Sylvia :-)

  • 11 years ago

    by Ray Blue

    Hi Sylvia,

    The poem is perfect. I can see and feel through the flow of words you made. Congrats!

  • 11 years ago

    by shantal

    Dis poem should of been better

  • 11 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Exquisite Write!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by stargirl49

    Amazing work!

  • 11 years ago

    by anand singh

    Though short, this piece captivates one's heart with every word, knowing that it comes from deep within an honest heart.
    An enjoyable read.

  • 11 years ago

    by Fran

    Nice to read a poem celebrating the joys of love. It can take us so low but can also take us so high. Well done.