And babe when your feeling like this it makes me hurt! When you tell me you want to die and think about suicide everyday. I sit here knowing i can't help... No matter how hard i try. Even though I'm here for you.
So I'm laying here on my bathroom floor in a pool of blood razor in hand ready to drag it down my arm once again. All the while two voices in my head telling what to do! One screaming at me telling me to 'Do it, You want it, To feel more blood seeping from your wrist, You know your not worth it anyway.' And the other one saying 'Don't do it, You are worth this life, You know you are, Think of the ones you love!, All of your friends, Foster, Jesse, Brittany, Your mum. Don't do It!' But i go with my feelings and that first voice and i put this bloody razor to my wrist once more and drag it down with all the strength i go left... I blank out letting the blackness take me. Drowning in my depression!
I wake up to banging on the door to see i lived through another night with the thought 'Ohwell just try again tomorow' Another knock i yell 'One sec' Clean the blood and myself up hiding the bloody razor and my fresh cuts i put on this fake smile that everyone believes is real and get ready to go to my personal hell. My 'Friend's' see my cuts and scares but think I'm fine... While i sit there at school i think about the one my heart belongs to and our never ending pain... Trying to figure out a way to escape this black depression. I can only thin of one way to escape this hell.
I go home straight to my bathroom with my knife and that's where they find me the next day in a pool of crimson, Blood splattered phone laying open next to me a dozen missed calls... In my room my mom finds a tear soaked note that Say's I'm sorry it's the only way to escape this depression i knew it would kill me. I love you forever... Tell Jesse that me heart always was and will always be his! Tell foster that she was the best friend someone could ever ask for tell everyone i Loved them i love you.
Danni
By Beautifully Broken
Please Note!
i am the author of this poem and i have not killed myself yet its just how i feel i have very much support from my friends and family and i can relate to people that want to die so please please please tell someone you WILL feel better i promise!
