The scent of love runs through the air as we walk down the streets hand in hand. I stare into your eyes and I can see my life reflecting from them. The feel of your soft, warm lips upon mine is absolutely mind blowing. My knees begin to lock and I can feel my heart race faster than ever before. It is no doubt that I am falling madly in love right at this very moment. Who knew you would be the one to break my heart just a few months later. As time goes by my love for you only grows stronger. I begin to trust you yet I am scared every moment I am with you because of the great power you have over me. We would spend hours talking about my fears of love, life, and getting too attached. Ive never felt more controlled yet free in my life. Ive never felt this way about anyone in my life. Its as if we were meant to find each other and bring each other the light, the passion, and the joy of having someone to hold each night. I felt you near me even when you were miles away. You were the only face Id ever known. The only being that I looked up to and felt a great deal of warmth with. I was willing to lay my life down for you. I was willing to change. I know we had had our problems but they only made us stronger in time. We couldnt be apart no matter how hard we tried. You were supposed to be my soul mate; my everything. When you spoke, you spoke of the future and what we would be. When you smiled, I felt a rush of pride among me; this is my girlfriend. She chose me. I put a ring on your finger not too long before the painful day happened. I promised you my heart for the rest of my life and you said yes. Two hearts meant to be in sync with the others beating like the soft wind that blows through the trees in sync with the Earth yet to be torn apart with only a single sentence. As I look at you with my questioning eyes, something is wrong. I do not feel a sense of equality within you anymore. Something is terribly wrong. My heart feels like its going to burst with all the anticipation. At first you tell me its just not going to work; too much to deal with. I began to fight for you and make excuses of why we apparently werent working out. Then you told me that there was someone else; the whole time. You said you were sorry and I said I couldnt look at you. You left me that night, left me to be broken, bleeding, crying and miserable on my bedroom floor. How could you? I never thought this would be happening. I never thought I would be hurting so bad. Picturing you lying in bed with her, wrapped in her body night after night; sweating, screaming for more and more makes me sick to stomach. Have you ever felt your heart caving into your chest so hard, so deep that you feel like your entire body is going to implode that very second? Do you wish you could just wake up from this nightmare next to her with everything okay again?
I do.
She killed me that night. Shattered my heart; broke me to pieces. I thought I was so strong and so brave. You find out your true strength when you face your biggest fear. Mine was being alone. Im scared as hell right now.
