Thinking

by Deana   May 30, 2009


Thinking

He sat there
Staring through the window
at nothing outside,
and yet he looked
far into the distance

Did he think she would come?
Riding up, to rescue him
from him self
from his choices
that brought him here
to this place

I watched from across the room
In between notations, in the daily log

He was too young
to be so alone
and scared
to be a danger
to society
Or was he?

He didn't feel dangerous
At least , not at the moment
Only when his anger
rose to the surface
took hold of his mind
and his hands

Slowly he looked up at me, but not really at me
and spoke softly, " I belong here,you know."

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by AJ

    This is written so well that it seems like a real life experience. good job 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by John Long

    Very poignant. I really enjoy poems that take a passing moment or every day scene and scratch beneath the surface. You are a perceptive writer.

  • 14 years ago

    by Nonz

    This is achingly beautiful! I wonder how come you never got comments for this. I wish I were in my constructive criticism suit, I would've given you more important feedback, but for now I will have to settle for my emotional "review"

    He was too young
    to be so alone
    and scared
    to be a danger
    to society
    Or was he?

    I could totally visualize this - sitting in a dim cafe, almost empty, and the misery on his face.

    and GOSH, I just love the ending. Such resignation and despair; that's what I felt, anyway. Hope I wasn't too off =D

    Great job!

  • 14 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    It feels sooo much like a short story to me Deana or at least part of a bigger story anyway. You left me wanting to know more and read more, I think it could definetely be expanded. Nice work.

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