A Dreamer's Nightmare

I once thought of total freedom
sought to control my own life.
But I was forever afraid
I might get carried away.

Roaming through time
suddenly stopping by
just to look at my surroundings
everything seems fading

The hollowness will soon envelop
What was once my own consciousness
Only time will tell
When will I see Hell.

Everything feel so vivid
even after death
My connection to this world will never cease
Unless I find my inner peace.

I sought to govern my own actions
Not like others who have to follow someone else.
Total dogma I should say
but they seemed to be brainwashed from reality's dismay

And so I went
I traveled to the far ends of the earth
seeking the truth
armed with only helpless emotions.

So I went,
never in my life I felt so alone
traveling with empty emotions
there I lay, awake and dreaming

I seek clarity,
I seek reality,
I seek sanity,
I seek my family.

I had haunted those times
wherein I was still alive
But these moments seems to fly
My life was slipping by.

I sought to see the truth
but it felt like it never existed
I don't know why I still had doubts
when everybody though I had ended my existence.

I just can't
I'm helpless
all alone
trapped in this world so cold.

Inspired by "Nobody True" by James Herbert