Reaching My Limit

I find it kind of funny
And I find it kind of sad
The dreams of which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had

You never listened
And you never believed
That I was broken to pieces
No, you just didn't see

Now I find it hard
To wake up every day
Its hard to even look at you
And harder to say what I need to say

Maybe I am just lost
Stuck in the so called home
It isn't all that comforting
To feel THIS alone

Alone is what I am
Alone it was I see
Alone is not easy
It's not easy being me

To be confused
To feel pushed away
To seem not have anyone
Who even wants me to stay

It hurts me
It hurts my shattered heart
It hurts the bruised soul
But I've tried from the start

I've tried to want to live
And I've tried to want to die
I've tried to find the real me
But all I seem to do is cry

Crying is something that I do
Sometimes too much
Maybe this can be comforted
With just a simple touch

To be held
To have a feeling
To lay here alone
Sometimes unwilling

I want to feel something
Anything but emptiness inside
Maybe to feel the love from you
And not just goodbye

You've pushed me and pushed me
I'm almost to the edge
I'm getting to my limit
I just can't take this rage

I might be sick of holding on
Fighting to stay alive
Why should I stay and feel this hurt
Struggle just to get by

Deep down I want to go
To a place where I can be
Away from all this madness
Where people literally know me

Of course I don't have the courage
To do it my way
And though it does look appealing
I know I need to stay

May 2009