Unquenchable~Shadorma

by Poet on the Piano   Jun 20, 2009


Tempting lips,
resist desires,
with regret.

Prison bars,
sabotage her fervid urge,
to massacre souls.

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A shadorma is a non-rhyming verse of six lines with a strict syllable count of 3, 5, 3, 3, 7, 5.

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  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    The first stanza made a lot of sense, but then the second one was what made the reader think. It was a little difficult to wrap the mind around your words, but I believe that you used these prison bars to describe how her urge to be 'fervid' or romantic with these people is in a way blocked off? To massacre souls could mean so many things, you could literally mean this or there could be a hidden meaning. Possibly you meant to lure them in with her tempting lips but lie when expressing her love for others, like you said 'to massacre souls' to destroy them inside knowing it was all a lie?

    Not sure about this one, definatly the last stanza makes the reader thing beyond your words. I loved the challenge though.. and your syllable count was straight on.

    Well done with this

    5/5 Temps

  • 14 years ago

    by Ingrid

    A scary poem MaryAnne, not sure about what it means, but you penned it beautifully:)

    *hugs*

    5/5 Ingrid

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