It's like your ears are clogged with spit,
And the blood and tears you've caused.
It's like you think you have all the wits,
With the harsh words you have tossed.

*I like this. You seem so angry but sad at the same time. I like the simple rhyme pattern. It makes the poem easier to read*

I always seem to be in the wrong,
I misunderstand you say
I always try to look so strong,
I should stop standing in your way.

*I like this. The second line was a little bit confusing though. I would say "I misunderstand everything you say" Sounds more complete that way.*

All the hypocrites,
Praising words they never said,
Blindly throwing vicious hits,
It's time they cried instead.

*This was my favorite stanza. I love the diction here. Great work*

Take a knife, end sharpened for the blow
Take a gun, bullets ready row by row.
Ready your hand, let's see who's dumb.
Ready or not hypocrites, Here I come.

*I love the ending, but I didn't like how you changed the rhyme. Anways I liked this stanza the most. It seems much more intense than the rest and so emotion filled. Keep it up. Nice work. Nik*

Wow... When I started the poem, I wasn't sure where it'll lead to... But u developed it nicely... U've successfully portrayed ur anger and strong emotions through this poem...

'Ready your hand, let's see who's dumb.
Ready or not hypocrites, Here I come.'
--> Excellent ending ! :)

5/5
Keep It Up! :)

Wow! What a very strong poem. I loved it! The verses flowed great and the story took a cool twist, it reminded me of an action movie where a person gets their retribution.

All the hypocrites,
Praising words they never said,
Blindly throwing vicious hits,
It's time they cried instead.

That was my favorite stanza.

Good job. 5/5

A fairly good poem. Both the ryme and rythme are off in places though. Also, you just seem to be angry for the sake of being angry, with no real direction throughout. Maybe there needs to be a little more clarification in your work. Thank you

Peace and prosperity,

(RKD)

Hi! Melissa Hana here I go - Remember the rule, read it through and then read it through again. Write down any editing corrections as you go.

1st stanza
L2 perhaps, or instead of and, I think fits and sounds better as well as making sense?

2nd stanza
L2- Does not work with you first line
I always seem to be in the wrong
"I misunderstand," you say
- perhaps "I'm misunderstood" I say - just a suggestion
L3 - Wit not wits

4th stanza
L1 Do you need end, sharpened for the blow feels better?
A really good poem spoilt by what I think are minor mistakes,
Edit again and see after if it sounds and feels better.
I will score it after if you let me know. Ray S

'It's like your ears are clogged with spit,
And the blood and tears you've caused.
It's like you think you have all the wits,
With the harsh words you have tossed.'
`The first line was quite disgusting haha, but definatly loaded with originality, that first line really struck me like wow, I thought you did a brilliant job with it, what a unsual feeling that would be.

'I always seem to be in the wrong,
"I misunderstand," you say
I always try to look so strong,
I should stop standing in your way.'
`Indeed I understand what youre saying here how sometimes we feel like we're always doing everything wrong and people tell us we are 'misunderstanding' them.. and we feel like we are always in a way blocking others from something? - Loved how you wrote this poem in your perspective, it works really nicely and easy to interpret what youre saying

'All the hypocrites,
Praising words they never said,
Blindly throwing vicious hits,
It's time they cried instead.'
`Simple word choice but you definatly get your point across..

'Take a knife, end sharpened for the blow
Take a gun, bullets ready row by row.
Ready your hand, let's see who's dumb.
Ready or not hypocrites, Here I come. '
`Nicely written, it definatly fits your title of hide and seek, the last line was perfect.

Good job.
5/5.

Amazing.

It's like your ears are clogged with spit,
And the blood and tears you've caused.
It's like you think you have all the wits,
With the harsh words you have tossed.
^^ I think the second line needs a revision, like his ears was clogged by his won blood and tears? Just my opinion though..

I always seem to be in the wrong,
"I misunderstand," you say
I always try to look so strong,
I should stop standing in your way.
^^To me these lines sounds you are hurting which i applaud you for that...Being sad doesnt always have to be associated with obvious sad words and methapors..

Take a knife, end sharpened for the blow
Take a gun, bullets ready row by row.
Ready your hand, let's see who's dumb.
Ready or not hypocrites, Here I come.
^^ i think you missed a comma between not and hypocrites..

Other than that as stated above, the contents fit with the title.

WOW HONESTLY I WISH I COULD EXPRESS MYSELF LIKE THIS. THIS IS A GREAT POEM.

It's like your ears are clogged with spit,
And the blood and tears you've caused.
It's like you think you have all the wits,
With the harsh words you have tossed.

FAV STANZA. MAKES A GREAT STATEMENT ON THE POEM

This reflects a lot of complex emotion I will be pondering on this lyrical poem for awhile
great work

Very cool poem... just a few suggestions

It's like your ears are clogged with spit,
And the blood and tears you've caused.
It's like you think you have all the wits,
With the harsh words you have tossed.

perhaps
"With harsh words that you have tossed"

I always seem to be in the wrong,
"I misunderstand," you say
I always try to look so strong,
I should stop standing in your way.

All the hypocrites,
Praising words they never said,
Blindly throwing vicious hits,
It's time they cried instead.

perhaps
praising words, they never even said,

Take a knife, end sharpened for the blow
Take a gun, bullets ready row by row.
Ready your hand, let's see who's dumb.
Ready or not hypocrites, Here I come.

Just those two minor suggestions help a little bit with flow. All and all I I really dig this poem. great job

Wow!!
i rlly liked this poem!!
it's all full of true feelings and it's veryy strong...
i rlly liked this part:

I always seem to be in the wrong,
"I misunderstand," you say
I always try to look so strong,
I should stop standing in your way.

you should keep on writting poems:)
you have lots of talent....
well i loved the poem!!
it was awesome!! :]

Hey, this is a great poem you got here, filled with lots of raw emotion and its intense too.
i love the way you stick up for yourself, and i also love the title, its really creative in itself!

Take a knife, end sharpened for the blow
Take a gun, bullets ready row by row.
Ready your hand, let's see who's dumb.
Ready or not hypocrites, Here I come.

^^ my favourite stanza, its so cool, kind of bought a smile to my face, i love people who can stick up for themselves and don't let others bring them down!
Don't stop writing..MEZi x

I would have liked to see the lines a little bit more balanced (as far as syllable count goes) however I still liked this poem. Word choice was good and the flow didn't seem forced. 4/5

Haha sadistic and brilliant.. Makes you think about those school massacres..

i like evil poems like this :D good work

Heh, wow. I surely wasn't expecting that.
The idea was brilliant and you followed through well.
Great job!

Very well written and mournful too. Good use of vocabulary and poetic structures...Love it. Great job 5/5

Wow thats good..very intense...i like it :]

I think this poem should be voted number one against many others. mi best friend feels the same way. i have tried to get her help but she says theres no way. every night i pray hoping that mabey just mabey she can feel like a normal person. i understand there is no such thing as a normal person, but for her to feel free from all the depression.....

..... I really loved the poem because it made eveyrthing i felt come out and be easy for me to understand as i felt that i was the only one who felt that way. GREAT POEM.... (5/5) Excellent

It's time they cried instead.
-I think it should be
It's time they cry instead

but all in all
I think its nice
I can feel the anger!
rawr!