Lost,,,

Looking back where I began
couldn't believe I've come this far
only to my surprise
dis all turned out to be
a perfect disguise

thinking without motive
moving with no aim
sometimes gets too tired
from dis life n its pain
thins I wanna run from
somehow stuck with me
thins I want
don't know if its for real

what a damn
a life can be
feels like caged
now I wanna be free
ending dis life
sometimes I feel d only way
to end d long lived misery

what else can I say
wen I don't really know my way
which way to go
is d hardest question I know
as days pass by
I stand still
to define my way
to look for answers
to countless questions
confused inside my head
thoughts lying stray

dreaming of fantasies
that I know might never happen
striving to stuck with reality
killing me like a perfect weapon
each day I die a little
getting a slow death
brittle dreams n hopes
counting my each breath
silence in n around
caught my tongue
thoughts jumbled around
leashing scary wound
like million of stung bites
unleashing venom
killing me from inside
don't wanna stretch dis life

I want a relief n peace
from dis seemingly
everlasting unexplainable cry
i need a light a hint or may b even a sweet lie
may b dis is what
I'm destined for
to die with unfulfilled dreams n sore heart
guess just waitin for one single
final blow of dart
to pierce right
through me
killing me instantly
reading what I've written so far
realizing how lost I am
a complete failure n a loser
without even fighting a war