You did post it Temps, thanks so much!

"Standing on a balcony,
bound by gentle swaying
waters of the Pacific--"

You open this poem up by describing all around you, I love the word "bound" and how you used it. Being by the ocean must be a wonderful thing.

"mascara-kissed eyelashes"

This was so unique and cute.

"are weighed heavily by
silent I miss you's"

Great work so far, this was very expressive.

"The morning breeze
tousles layered hair--"

Loved "tousles" and it was very creative how you mentioned "layered" hair.

"blinding weary eyes;
cloaking falling tears,
yet lips shape a smile
as I feel myself tangled
in your presence."

Very beautiful words that you have wove together, the emotions are just oozing out here Temps. "falling tears" was not the most unique line but when you put "cloaking" in front of it, I re-thought it. I like also the unique way you expressed your emotion with "I feel myself tangled in your presence."

"Your sweet voice echos
among the loud whispers
of seagulls;"

I wasn't expecting this, good job and great comparison.

"although faint
and in the distance, I know
that you've arrived and I'm
no longer alone;"

What hope is portrayed here, this is so sweet and from the soul.

"You're here
with me. As I welcome the day
with arms spread wide..."

I loved that last line, that really provides imagery and is what the girl is doing in the avatar. Very well penned, you wrote so much about your avatar and in such depth.

"I miss you molds into I love you."

The last line was very powerful just standing by itself. "molds" was a nice touch, instead of saying "transforms" or "turns". Beautiful ending, I wasn't expecting that and you had me satisfyed.

5/5 from me, good work Temps, its always a pleasure to read your work. The main thing I liked about this piece was how you transformed this simple avatar into this deep, descriptive picture that holds such love. You really explained so much of the avatar and made me see it in a different way. Take care and God bless you.

~MaryAnne

You made a lovely poem based on your avatar, Temps:)

To have back the one you love so much is the most beautiful feeling in the world, I think you have captured that feeling very eloquently within this verse:)

Well done,

5/5 Ingrid

This is beautiful. The emotion was captured perfectly in the words. 5/5

I like the way you describe. hehehe

I really loved the way this poem read. A narrative moment, bittersweet & lovely. It's a great picture to draw inspiration from too. Funny how images move us so much, isn't it?

"Standing on a balcony,
bound by gentle swaying
waters of the Pacific--
mascara-kissed eyelashes
are weighed heavily by
silent I miss you's"
^I like that you used the word 'bound' there, it sucked me in, and is not used as often as captivating or something of that nature, though its meaning is just as strong and powerful. The ocean is something that binds us to it..it's so hard to turn away from. Loved the last bit too, there's a sorrow & longing there without physical tears. Beautiful.

"The morning breeze
tousles layered hair--
blinding weary eyes;
cloaking falling tears,
yet lips shape a smile
as I feel myself tangled
in your presence."
^Lovely use of adjectives in this stanza. (: & the optimism at the end made me actually smile with this girl. How comforting the thought of someone we love can be, even when we're alone.

"Your sweet voice echos
among the loud whispers
of seagulls; although faint
and in the distance, I know
that you've arrived and I'm
no longer alone; You're here
with me. As I welcome the day
with arms spread wide..."
^Echos should be 'echoes' I believe. Adored that bit though 'echoes among the loud whisper of seagulls.' A beautiful image and sound there. The world is still going on around her, but she's listening to this voice.

"I miss you molds into I love you. "
^A good ending (: Really enjoyed this piece, Temps. Very well written! Keep writing down the bones! x

Very good descriptive poem talking about your avatar Temps. You can feel the emotion in this poem and the flow is good. You have created a work of art and it seems that you have made no flaw with this poem. Best poem I've read in awhile and hope you continue the great work Temps. -Jad

Temps
What a beautiful poem :)

Standing on a balcony,
bound by gentle swaying
waters of the Pacific--
mascara-kissed eyelashes
are weighed heavily by
silent I miss you's

The imagery is great. Giving the reader a vision into the poem.
The sadness and lonliness can be felt in your words.

The morning breeze
tousles layered hair--
blinding weary eyes;
cloaking falling tears,
yet lips shape a smile
as I feel myself tangled
in your presence.

It's hard being without the person you love. Yet memories can still bring some happiness.

Your sweet voice echoes
among the loud whispers
of seagulls; although faint
and in the distance, I know
that you've arrived and I'm
no longer alone; You're here
with me. As I welcome the day
with arms spread wide...

Thinking about that person that is gone can still bring some comfort to your world.
Great piece.
Take care
Cindy