Happening Again

by PassionCourageTriumph   Aug 13, 2009


Is this really happening again?
Could I finally be able to trust another?
With that thing that beats beneath my skin
It's been tattered, torn, and smothered

Taking me many months
To heal completely
The process of it was, indeed, very tough
The pain burned quite sweetly

But I made it through
Repaired in time
And now, I think I care a lot about you
Possibly I could make you mine

The respect that is shown
Makes me feel secure
I believe, upon you, my heart I can bestow
Indeed you might just be my heartaches cure

But could your feelings be the same?
We have both grown to care
Perchance you I might claim
But I think I best not dare

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    'With that that thing that beats beneath my skin'
    ^For starters, you only need one that in the beginning of the line, not two. Secondly, thing is too vague, I undersatnd youre probably talking about your heart, but thing is not in any way poetic.

    'It's been tattered torn and smothered'
    ^Put a comma after tattered, it will flow better with that pause in there

    'Taking me many a month'
    ^I didnt understand this line? Did you mean to say 'Taking me many months'?

    'And the pain burned quite sweetly'
    ^I dont think and is necessary here.. it flows better without. Loved pain burned quite sweetly, never thought of something quite like that before or seen something like that.

    A good poem, some things need some altering bother than that a nice poem.

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