Carving away the pain...

Have you ever carved away the pain?
you would know.
the numbness in your brain.
the pulsing in your vein.
then uncertainty on you mind.
happiness you search to find.
the disappointment on peoples faces.
the panic as your heart races.
as you say good-bye to sleeveless tops.
and going shopping at bathing-suit shops.
as you say hello to your old black sweat shirt.
to your dance classes and being a flirt.
the bleeding on the outside.
reflects the inside.
you even are forced to lie to your best friend.
How long are you possibly going to last before it ends?