My Growing Strength

It is imprisoned in the depths of my mind.
beneath the surface of my conscience.
It's shackles bound tight.
The beast that lies within me.
Filled with anger, with rage, and with sadness.
The power to scream and to lash out.
Releasing this will surly unhinge my brain.
Insanity will be my grave.
It is pain.
I feel it at times lurking behind my peaceful eyes, or my warm smile.
I feed it more and more whenever I think of my solitude.
Or of my past.
I have locked it in the abyss of my mind.
Its roar echoes in the halls of my thoughts.
It whispers to me, asking for freedom.
I can not let it free, I will not fall for its tricks.
Though strangely, I depend upon it.
Without it Life would not be Life.
I struggle because I must.
Which is the same reason we all do.
But I know the truth, I can never remove this from me.
I only know that in time, it will become weaker.
So I continue to hope.
To hope that its restraints will hold.
Hope that I become stronger because of this pain.
I know I will become stronger, I must, I am.
Thank God for this suffering.
I am stronger then the day before.
I am who I am because of it.
And I will not let it free, or let it control who I am now.
Let Love be a weapon against it.
With peace and patience as ammunition.
Let my heart become a fortress.
And God the keeper of that fort.
This pain is my antagonist.
And I refuse to back down.