His Control

I pace back and forth trying to keep it together
cause I'm starting to think I'm crazy to hope things will get better
He use to be my wings that made me fly so high
but now when I look at him all I think is how much I want to die
He knows that he hurts me.. but won't admit his faults
he takes his frustration out by committing assault
and when he's finished he'll usually go back to his routine
acting as if nothing happened.. making it feel like its a dream
I wipe the tears that fall from my eyes and go back to his control
I want to turn and run away but I know he won't let me go
I look at the kids, such sadness in their eyes
than my daughter comes and asks me why do you guys fight
I don't have an explanation.. I stay quiet and rub her head
I tell her not to worry and to go right back to bed
and I go into my room and lay down and try to sleep
and in the middle of night I feel him try to creep
He kisses me on my cheek and tells me goodnight
thinking that after what he did everything is just alright
I want to brush him off, but I know that will only make him mad
so I tell him goodnight back and go to bed sad