Let the Loner Die

by shadow   Sep 4, 2009


The future blackened by the ashes of the past
Lit every bridge on fire before running in last
Swallowin our hopes like they were knives
Bleeding as they cut us from the very inside

Walkin the streets like Im lost and confused
Nobody to talk to and nothing left to lose
Contemplating throwin myself in front of a bus
Just to hear the old driver yell and cuss

There is no solution for an empty soul
No pill,no drug,nothing that can fill this hole
Walking with my own ghost staring me down
Like its only a matter of time before I drown

Is this all thats left of life to live?
Miserable until my will begins to give.
Hopeless and alone on such a big earth.
Now Im wishin my mother never gave birth.

Just let the loner die.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by iFallToPieces

    I liked this poem, they flow was nice, and rhyming was great,
    great work
    5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Nee

    Dear you..
    This poem started beautifully, but sadly ended disappointingly.
    You used beautiful metaphors at the beginning, only that at the end it was cliche.
    I want to criticize some things here..

    "Swallowin our hopes like they were knives"
    ^
    You mean swallowing right? should change it.

    "Walkin the streets like Im lost and confused
    Nobody to talk to and nothing left to lose
    Contemplating throwin myself in front of a bus
    Just to hear the old driver yell and cuss"
    ^
    again, "walking" and "throwing".
    "Im" should be "I'm"..I know I'm being too critical but this is important when writing..so bear with me..
    The first line needs a dash between "streets" and "like".
    The second needs a comma between "to" and "and".
    I didn't really like the flow here..rhyme went a bit cliche.

    Try to focus on your closures just the same way you focus on your preludes..
    Well written =)
    Write on~

  • 14 years ago

    by Filledwithjoy

    There is always hope. yotube the song "Have you ever" by Shawn Macdonald..youll get your answer what that hope is...
    hold on.

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