You don't get to hurt me

You tore me down again and again,
Caused me injury that left no mark,
Made me cry those shameful tears,
And yet I returned over and over.
Tried to fix our shattered relationship.
I blamed myself, thought I was failing you,
That I wasn't good enough,
That I was the reason we kept falling apart.
You'd accept my whispered words as
Again I tried to glue us back together,
You welcomed me and my promises to change,
Yet you never made an effort,
Never said your own sorries.

You were the one that needed to change.
You left me with a burden,
To carry a weight that was not my own.
All I wanted was you, to love me as I am,
To stop beating me down, to be there as you should be,
But you wont, because to you I'm wrong,
And to be in your life I have to change,
To fit your desires and loose the other parts of me.

I went through hell because of you.
I couldn't see a chance that I'd survive.
I didn't believe I should survive.
I thought the pain was all I deserved,
Because somehow I failed you.
To me you used to be everything.

Thankfully I see now,
How truly foolish I was.
I know there will be moments,
When I miss you in my life,
But you made your choice,
It wasn't me.
And I've made mine,
No more tears for you dear father.
You don't get to ruin my second chance.
I was lucky to come through that.
I'm here if you want to try to fix it,
To make amends for your mistakes.
If you truly want to make the effort,
If you will change your opinions on perfection
To which I'm glad I do not meet.
But don't expect open arms,
I'm not a child anymore,
Shinny toys will not win my favour.
You'll have to go on substance.
Good luck with that.